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Poetry

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Read Godzilla Haikus

"Civilization / I destroy it to feel like / I'm a part of you."

By Edith Zimmerman

Bono’s Poetry Offends

This isn't even the worst part: 'Elvis white trash / Elvis the Memphis flash / Elvis didn’t smoke hash and woulda been a sissy without Johnny Cash.'

By Lane Brown

Poets Invade Brooklyn!

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Poets — and, apparently, Bill Murray — paraded across the Brooklyn Bridge yesterday afternoon to raise money for Poets House. We wish they'd instead crossed the Kosciuszko. What rhymes with that, you clever poets?

‘Times’ Couplets: Nobody Mention the Elephant in the Room

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Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret messages from the paper of record. Tough Time Ahead for President New War Czar Wins Praise, but White House Is FaultedLack of Access to Polling Places, For 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,' Split on Party Lines, It's Subpoena Time! Lies, Sighs and Politics Victory, Defeat, RealityPart Coach, Part Motivator and 100 Percent Welcomed: Waiting for Al Gore. They Always Come Out Ahead; Bet on It? Let's Twist Again, Dude, as the Screws Turn.

Maxwell Wheat Will Not Be L.I. Poet Laureate

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• Nassau County had its first poet laureate all picked out: Maxwell Corydon Wheat Jr. Then they discovered his poem that begins "Males and one woman / Sip coffee mornings in the White House, / Talk of desires about Iraq." So that's a no. Good call, incidentally: The poem is beyond awful. [NYT] • Meet Dr. Alain Kaloyeros, a SUNY-Albany nanotech scientist who happens to be the best-remunerated state employee in New York. After last week's record pay hike, his various salaries add up to an annual windfall of $947,538. Not that anyone's counting. [NYP] • Nothing like a crazed-insurance-broker yarn: Noel Lauria bought a bow and fired arrows out his UES window, landing a stray one through a neighbor's terrace door. His explanation to the cops: "I'm turning 40." [NYDN] • Oh, goody, another "edgy" magician dangling over Times Square. The ingredients in the current mess: a guy named Criss Angel, a glass box, 6,000 pounds of concrete, and a crappy A&E show to promote. Go concrete! [amNY] • And over the weekend, all manner of deformed, tattooed, and hairy freaks played baseball. Also, there was a Coney Island charity game, with the Sideshow By the Seashore performers battling the Cyclone staff. See what we did there? [Metro NY]