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Accidents Happen … Even Within View of the Shake Shack

Hapless poopers in Madison Square Park? Porn kings threatening comedy kings in Times Square? Radicals burning good money in the East Village? The links in today's boroughs report must be clicked to be believed!

Ellen Dethrones Oprah, Finally Has a Real Reason to Dance

MEDIA • Ellen beat Oprah as the nation's favorite TV personality, dethroning the Queen of Talk who held the top spot for five years. [HR] • Will Schwalbe quit Hyperion after seven years as editor-in-chief. His decision seems to have come as something of a shock, and the publisher has no immediate successor planned. Schwalbe, co-author of Send, the recent guide to e-mail etiquette, won't divulge his own plans. [NYO] • Christopher Hitchens quits smoking! Really, we're excited and interested! [Radar]

P.J. O'Rourke Is Down to His Nose in Filth

Don't feel bad if you've ever called P.J. O'Rourke a shithead. It's not so far from the truth. On November 8, O'Rourke showed up at the bash for the Atlantic Monthly's 150th anniversary with a giant scab on the bridge of his nose. "I've been waiting all night for someone to ask me what happened!" he told us. So? While cantering around a friend's polo field in Virginia, says O'Rourke, "my horse, Pronto, and I had a kind of parting of ways … He simply came to a stop and I did not." O'Rourke went flying. "It was a one-point landing, face first," he says. To add insult to injury, O'Rourke's friend had just fertilized the field. "Most of this scab is from me scrubbing the stuff off," O'Rourke explained. "I essentially fell face-first into shit. It was a classic situation: 'With this much shit, there must be a pony around somewhere.' And there was!" —Jada Yuan Earlier: The ‘Atlantic’ 150th-Anniversary Party: A Play in One Act