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Happily Eva After

OK! magazine paid more than $2 million for the rights to Eva Longoria's wedding photos, much to the chagrin of People. Lily Allen was so drunk during a performance she referred to hostess Tinsley Mortimer as "Ashley Winksdale," which, actually, is kind of awesome. Courtney Love has been licensing Kurt Cobain's likeness for a bunch of lame products. (Certainly Al Pacino wouldn't approve.) The Queen of England uses e-mail and has an iPod. Rachel Roy and Damon Dash got into a public spat at Dash's club Socialista. Ryan Cabrera and Riley Keough — she's Elvis's granddaughter — are on the outs. Renée Zellweger might be dating an agent at CAA.

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Gore ’08!

Michael Moore may support Al Gore for president. A theater in the HBO building was named for former network chief Michael Fuchs, and Fuchs gave a weird, bad, awkward speech at the ceremony. Jerry Seinfeld is very excited about his upcoming Bee Movie. 50 Cent is very excited about playing a drug dealer opposite Robert De Niro and Al Pacino in his upcoming movie. A lot of racehorse owners are not pleased with Eliot Spitzer's plan for Aqueduct to be government-run. David Burke took home $10,000 after beating Bobby Flay and Sam Talbot in a poker tournament in Aspen. Jimmy Fallon wants to lose weight. "Utter pandemonium" broke out, says a "Page Six" source, after Debra Messing, Mike Nichols, and other guests were rained upon during the Public Theater's premiere of Romeo and Juliet in Central Park. (Actually, we thought it was pretty fun.) Ian Claus dedicated his first book to Chelsea Clinton.

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Gore 2008!

At an Air America relaunch, Bill Clinton said Al Gore has the money to run for president. Rudy Giuliani is raising money in Jerusalem. Paul McCartney is playing new songs at a free Highline Ballroom show tonight. Tom Wolfe is worried Gus Van Sant's adaptation of The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test won't do the LSD trips justice. Mel Brooks thinks Cloris Leachmen is too old to reprise her role in Young Frankenstein. Paris Hilton is naked online again. At the Apollo's spring benefit, David Dinkins said he likes Kyra Sedgwick. Dumbo developer David Walentas will play polo with Adolpho Cambiaso, the world's best player, in Bridgehampton this summer. Beyoncé wouldn't sign a British fan's painting. Britney Spears exposed herself again, and snuggled with gal pal, at a Hollywood club.

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Will Someone Please Call Family Services on Dina Lohan?

Dina Lohan, the "white Oprah," is in talks to do a reality show for E! in which she'll try to turn her two youngest kids into stars. And Lindsay's DUI arrest made it tough for underage girls to get into L.A. clubs after the MTV Movie Awards. Michael Moore has lost 30 pounds eating whole grains and sleeping more. Harvey Weinstein is an investor at Bungalow 8 doorman Armin Amiri's new club, Socialista. Angelina Jolie is spending time with her children at the expense of spending time with Brad Pitt. Gwyneth Paltrow and David Byrne are bad tippers. Cameron Diaz gave André Balazs a neck rub.

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Oh, J-Vanka!

Jared Kushner was caught making out with Ivanka Trump while bowling. While hanging with some ex-CIA spies, Robert De Niro hit the sauna with KGB colonels and fired guns with Taliban warriors. An aide in the Israeli U.N. mission quit after being outed as a DL gay-porn star. NBC paid $2.5 million for the rights to air a Princess Di tribute concert in July, which may have been the reason they also scored an interview with the princes. Surprising Time "100 Most Influential People" includee John Mayer will also perform at the party. Paris Hilton appears in court today for her DUI charges. Jon Stewart and Tom Brokaw helped raise $72 million from hedge-fund bigwigs at a Robin Hood Foundation charity event.

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Back and to the Left

A new book by Salon.com founder David Talbot claims that the JFK assassination was the joint work of the CIA and the Mafia. Philadelphia TV reporter Alycia Lane mistakenly sent risqué e-mails intended for NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen to his wife. Pete Wentz wants his new East Village bar, Angels and Kings, to be a place where people can have sex in the bathroom. A lot of bankers can no longer expense meals at Hawaiian Tropic Zone. Alec Baldwin skipped the premiere of his new movie to go to Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires. Good move: The screening — of a movie in which he plays an estranged father after a messy divorce — would have been awkward. Penélope Cruz bought the wait staff at the Waverly Inn a round of shots. Rosie O'Donnell dropped a subtle hint that she may be headed to CBS. Boy George was arrested in London for keeping some guy chained to his wall. Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields gambled together in Vegas.

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