The founding Wonkette editor signs on to do irreverent political coverage for Maer's magazine, another Charles Kushner associate goes down, and Andrew Cuomo noses around Dick Grasso's package, in our daily roundup of news from the worlds of media, real estate, law, and finance.
Did Bear Stearns collapse in part because of a whisper campaign? How will Starbucks keep its customers if everyone starts pinching pennies? And what did Sarah Jessica Parker think of Maxim naming her the "unsexiest woman alive"? Our weekly roundup of law, media, and business news.
•Yesterday the New York Post reported on Tiger Woods's new $65 million Hamptons pad. The only problem? He didn't buy the house. [Radar]
• Good Housekeeping published Conan O'Brien's stew recipe in honor of Saint Patrick's Day. Except it wasn't actually his recipe. "I've never cooked anything in my life. I didn't send this to them; they completely made this up," he said, then added: "I love this magazine, I'm not mad or anything." [WWD]
• After a year of bickering, Dow Jones decided it will no longer carry news from the Associated Press. [Reuters]
Radar has hired Spencer Pratt, the blond, cherubic Hills star with a heart of darkness, as their new advice columnist. "Yo Spencer!," which will tackle "problems from hot girls to family affairs," will debut in the next issue. (A sneak preview of the first column, which answers questions about smelly co-workers, girls who like threesomes, and whether one should discourage one's brother from enlisting in the army, is after the jump.) "Spencer is never afraid to speak his mind," Radar editor-in-chief Maer Roshan says in the press release. "When asking for advice, it's good to have someone who will be brutally honest with you, and tell it like it is." Sure, because that worked out really well for Heidi. You can e-mail Spencer, or whoever's writing his column, about your problems at email@example.com, though it might take him a while to get back to you, since we predict that mailbox will be full of "You're a douche bag" messages in, oh, ten to twenty minutes.
You’re at a party, sitting bored on the couch next to some drunk Indian guy, when a shaggy-haired, twinkly-eyed stranger ambles up to you. He smiles. You smile back. "What's your name?" he says. You tell him, and then you ask for his. "Adrian," he says. He says he's a documentary filmmaker, along with some other stuff. As he says this, his eyes twinkle, and you realize that you have seen these twinkling eyes before, on the hit show Entourage. Why, it's Adrian Grenier! Immediately, you start planning your lives together. Half the year, you'll live in his Clinton Hill brownstone. Winters, you'll decamp to Los Angeles, with the occasional jaunt to St. Barts, Italy, and Cannes. He asks what you do. You tell him you're in fashion. "That's cool," he says. Maybe he'll pay for you to start your own clothing line, like Harvey did for Georgina! Then he leans in and huskily whispers the thing every woman has always dreamed of hearing. "So," he says, "how about we go home, and I fuck the shit out of you?"
Adrian Grenier Pickup Lines: A Play in One Act [Radar]
When Radar ran their medium-funny "100 Reasons You're Still Single" article back in September, we thought it was a smidge annoying. But in Radar's defense, it wasn't nearly as annoying as when the Times of London fully ripped off their list and published a very similar version this weekend. Note the similarities from the Times' "50 Reasons Why You're Still Single":
RADAR: 5. Are only gay when you're drunk
TIMES: 16. Are only gay when you're drunk
RADAR: 38. Refuse to remove your Bluetooth earpiece during sex
TIMES: 18. Refuse to remove your Bluetooth headset before making love
RADAR: 52. Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed
TIMES: 3. Have more than zero stuffed animals on your bed
So if Balk's Cock writing from under the desk at Radar to apply for Alex Balk's old job at Gawker.com wasn't meta-media enough for you, take a look at this video. It's Keith Olbermann on his Countdown show reading aloud Tom Tomorrow's cartoon "Bill O'Reilly's Very Useful Advice for Young People," which appeared in the Village Voice last week. Olbermann reads the panels (at length) in O'Reilly's voice, including the parts about how Olbermann himself has a small cock. Click the image above and let us know: Is it boring? Is it genius? Is it just plain confusing? Damned if we know. But to add another meta-layer to this post, why don't you just imagine it was written by Daily Intel's cock. Makes everything funnier, no?
Olbermann Channels Tom Tomorrow Channeling O'Reilly [VV]