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Rosie O'donnell

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Beckhams and Cruises Ride Horse Carriages Together

Yes, that cultlike chanting you heard from within those veiled surreys was the four of them. Then they served their kids milk. Goyische! In the post-tryptophan gossip roundup.

By Tim Murphy

Nick Lachey and JCPenney Do Not Mix, Even If Paid to Do So

Nick Lachey
Nick Lachey threw a hissy fit at a JCPenney party on Hudson Street, despite the fact that he was being paid to be there. Michael Strahan says he loves girlfriend Nicole Murphy, but isn't sure about marriage. Execs at Sony are annoyed that Michael Jackson's Thriller 25 is on the Billboard oldies' chart instead of the Billboard Top 200 chart, despite the fact that it has six new songs. Nelly picked up the coat-check girl at Plumm. Outkast's André 3000 is looking for an apartment in the city and just toured a multi-million-dollar penthouse on West 13th Street. Justin Timberlake gave menu recommendations to patrons at his Southern Hospitality.

Mr. Big Almost Gets Beat Up

Chris Noth
Chris Noth was accosted by an angry trucker in the Bronx who wanted to know when he was going to marry Carrie. People were afraid to talk to Javier Bardem at the New York premiere of No Country for Old Men because he was so crazy in the movie. Dr. Ruth gave a copy of Sex for Dummies to Ivana Trump and fiancé Rossano Rubicondi while eating lunch at Michael's. Anna Wintour had a meeting yesterday with Mayor Bloomberg. Ethan Hawke wowed the crowd at Off Broadway play Jump by breaking out a Karate Kid kick during an audience-participation bit. Zac Posen's mom claims that her son can remember every outfit he's worn to every party over the past 27 years.

Rosie O'Donnell Strikes Out With MSNBC

Rosie O'Donnell
"You all heard about the whole big MSNBC thing?" Rosie O'Donnell said in a video on her blog this afternoon. "We were in the bottom of the ninth inning. We were almost there, the game was almost over!" But after she let slip to a blogger in Miami that she was in negotiations with the network to host a one-hour show, the network "panicked" and reneged, she wrote on her blog last night:
2day there is no deal poof my career as a pundit is over b4 it began
According to the Times, however, it wasn't panic that caused MSNBC to cop out, but the fact that Rosie would only commit to a one-year contract — as she had done previously on the View. "It's all right," Rosie sighed on her Webcam. "Maybe being a pundit wasn't what's best for me. You gotta believe, what happens is supposed to happen." We bet Dan Abrams, who's time slot she would have taken, believes that, too! MSNBC and O'Donnell Can't Make a Deal [NYT] Earlier: Rosie Suffers Television Relapse

Bill Clinton Made Rosie O'Donnell Cry

Rosie
Rosie O'Donnell burst into tears after Bill Clinton called her and apologized for being unfaithful to his wife. The guy who won the marathon said he did so by refraining from sex and eating pasta. Katie Holmes said her marathon run was "hard, but good." (She also wore a velvet Hermès gown to a Museum of the Moving Image event honoring her husband.) Damien Hirst installed a bunch of dead sheep carcasses in formaldehyde tanks at Lever House. Ousted Citigroup chief Chuck Prince didn't say hi to Sandy Weill at the Four Seasons. Annie Lennox gave a bunch of fans the finger. Governor Spitzer, Governor Corzine, and Nora Ephron went on a triple date to Cafe Boulud.

Rosie Suffers Television Relapse

Rosie
Rosie O'Donnell's new memoir, Celebrity Detox, is, according to Amazon, all about "withdrawing from celebrity life — and the terrifying dangers of relapsing into the spotlight." But apparently whatever plans her Rosiness had for a simpler life have been put on hold. This past weekend, she was down promoting the book at the Miami Book Fair when she let slip to a superfan, Steve Greenberg, who runs a site called Lyingonthebeach.com, that she had just signed a deal for a new TV show, "competing with the guy with the suspenders and the long, long face." The Times subsequently confirmed that Rosie is in talks with MSNBC to replace Dan Abrams in the 9 p.m. slot, opposite Larry King. But why is she eschewing normal life for the spotlight again? On her Website, a quote from Martha Graham suggests that the girl just can't help it:
There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening that is translated through you into action, and there is only one of you in all time, this expression is unique, and if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium; and be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is, not how it compares with other expression. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open.
That's right! If Rosie doesn't share her 9/11 conspiracy theories and smack talk with the world, then there's a chance those brilliant insights will be lost forever. It's not just Rosie's business, it's her responsibility. Rosie O'Donnell to Host Her Own TV Show? [Lying on the Beach] Rosie O'Donnell in Talks to Join MSNBC [NYT]

Padma: When in Doubt, Suck Face With Salman

Padma Lakshmi
A prankster made lewd comments to Ann Curry and Matt Lauer during a media conference call between TV writers and the Today anchors. Banker Rafael Follieri, boyfriend of Anne Hathaway, flew commercial from Atlanta to New York despite supposedly owning a private jet. Padma Lakshmi was overheard telling someone she still was "still trying to work the secret to a great relationship out" hours before she made out with Salman Rushdie at Bungalow 8. (Rushdie also almost fell asleep during a play at the Guggenheim on Saturday.) Ivanka Trump couldn't get into East Village dive Black and White because she didn't have an I.D. The smoking hot ex–First Lady of France, Cecilia Sarkozy, is coming to visit New York with her kid.