Did you guys see the clips of Matt Lauer's quietly uncomfortable interview with alleged toe-tapping senator Larry Craig on this morning's Today show? So did Rosie O'Donnell, and she has something to say about it on her cryptic blog:
you know there have been many whispers about matt lauer and his marriage woes
and another baby
i am watching
as he grills senator craig
and his shell shocked wife
about their sexy gay secrets
it makes me sick
in every way
Jennifer Lopez will supposedly announce that she's pregnant during her show at MSG on Saturday night. Jessica Simpson's people say she didn't drink and dash at the Box — her friend just accidentally took the receipt slip with him. Rosie O'Donnell did an impromptu ten-minute stand-up set during a show by Roseanne Barr at Comix. (Rita Crosby was there, despite having been served a subpoena earlier in the day.) Mariah Carey doesn't know how many bathrooms are in her Tribeca penthouse. Howard Stein, the nightlife honcho behind eighties hangouts Xenon and Rock Lounge, died at 62. The Port Authority says the quality of its toilet paper is much improved, contrary to what Larry David said on last week's episode of Curb. GLAAD forced "Page Six" to apologize for calling the pre-op transsexual who has a reality show on Fox a "she-male."
Donald Trump comes out a winner and a loser in the Post today. It's reported that the city will back his 46-story condo-hotel in Soho, despite neighborhood protests that it will change the character of the area and that it violates zoning laws. The building is already eleven stories high, and Trump says, "it will be one of the finest buildings of its kind anywhere in the world." Which is all great and happy-making, but we're a little disappointed with his performance in his latest spat with former View host Rosie O'Donnell. "Page Six" reports that in O'Donnell's book, Celebrity Detox, she takes some potshots at the real-estate mogul. She calls him "a slug," "a torn scarecrow," and "wrinkled, old and empty, with a Jell-O orange combover." Pretty poetic imagery! But all that the usually verbose Trump can come up with in response was "Rosie is a loser and a very sad case — unattractive both inside and out. I'll wager my book sells a lot more than hers." Oh, come on! It's Monday morning. At least call her fat!
Trump Triumphs [NYP]
Rosie and Trump 'Slug' it Out [NYP]
Michael Moore's new documentary, Sicko, points out how much money Hillary Clinton raises from health-care companies, and Harvey Weinstein tried to get him to remove a scene about it. Angelina Jolie claimed she was sorry Fox News was banned from her A Mighty Heart premiere, but then she banned Us Weekly and Life & Style (but not People and OK!) from the print-press roundtables. Former New Jersey governor Jim McGreevey might adopt a kid with his partner. Rosie O'Donnell really wants to host The Price Is Right, but the show's producers may not be into it. Lindsay Lohan may spend her 21st-birthday party in rehab because she is taking it seriously this time. That, or because Pure won't host a party for her. Former senator Al D'Amato may play a judge on Law & Order.
Martha Stewart's driver was arrested for undisclosed reasons, and Stewart flipped out because he is Egyptian. Paula Abdul whines and moans a lot on her upcoming Bravo reality show, but it's good TV. Actors from the Lord of the Rings trilogy are suing New Line, claiming the studio owes them a cut of merchandising revenue. Jean-Georges Vongerichten is set to open an authentic Japanese eatery where 66 used to be in Tribeca. HBO co-president of programming Richard Plepler, ICM agent Esther Newberg, and Lorne Michaels all back Chris Dodd for president. Barbra Streisand may star in a one-woman show on Broadway after her European tour.
Bobby Kennedy Jr. says he and his uncle Ted aren't as opposed to the proposed Cape Cod wind farm as a book says they are. Liza Minnelli and Isle Werther are fighting over a dress. Barneys creative director Simon Doonan is happy to be a "card-carrying fag." Boxing will go upscale when three Ford models replace the traditional ring girls at the upcoming welterweight championship at MSG. Former Justin Timberlake flame Cameron Diaz and current Justin Timberlake flame Jessica Biel will both be at the MTV Movie Awards, which may be awkward. Adam Carolla noted that Rosie O'Donnell is a fat female lesbian, and thus has "triple coverage as a minority." President Bush's chief domestic policy adviser, Karl Zinzmeister, reportedly said he'd never hire another woman because they "just get pregnant and leave." Dean McDermott broke up with girlfriend Mary Jo Eustace via "Page Six."
Rosie O'Donnell's chief writer at The View was busted for drawing mustaches on pictures of arch-nemesis Elisabeth Hasselback. Accused D.C. Madam Deborah Jeane Palfrey wants to publicize more names from her client list, but ABC News says there are no other even remotely noteworthy names on it. David Blaine wants to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. (Please!) Mary-Kate Olsen and Matthew Modine are set to join the cast of Weeds. The maps have been removed from Jodi's Shortcuts, the semi-famous Hamptons traffic-avoidance routes. Callers trying to reach Sarah Silverman as part of an MTV Movie Awards promo have been accidentally dialing some company in Texas.
Michael Jackson is trying to reclaim a trove of Jacko memorabilia set to be auctioned off this month, some of which is pornographic in nature. Lindsay Lohan and "boyfriend" Calum Best got into a shouting match at the Soho Grand. Jerry Hall called Mick Jagger cheap. Billionaire David Koch boasted that he had graduated college when his wife was only six weeks old. The Office star Jenna Fischer slipped and fractured four bones in her back at Buddakan, but she's okay now. Charles Barkley thinks Don Imus should just have been suspended, not fired. Top Chef contestant Sam Talbot backed out of his deal to open a gastropub on the Lower East Side.
The Time 100 dinner, to be held tomorrow night at Jazz at Lincoln Center in celebration of the magazine's annual "Most Influential People in the World" issue, is a hot ticket, an exclusive and glittering black-tie affair. And it seems the influential people will go to great lengths not to miss it. Virgin mogul Richard Branson, on the list this year, is currently on a 325-mile dogsled journey across Canada's Arctic province of Nunavut to see the effects of global warming. He's rushing to reach his endpoint — the delightfully named Igloolik — by Tuesday morning so he can be whisked to New York to make the dinner that night. "Will get the husky dogs to work a little bit harder!" he e-mailed.
A new book by Salon.com founder David Talbot claims that the JFK assassination was the joint work of the CIA and the Mafia. Philadelphia TV reporter Alycia Lane mistakenly sent risqué e-mails intended for NFL Network anchor Rich Eisen to his wife. Pete Wentz wants his new East Village bar, Angels and Kings, to be a place where people can have sex in the bathroom. A lot of bankers can no longer expense meals at Hawaiian Tropic Zone. Alec Baldwin skipped the premiere of his new movie to go to Canyon Ranch in the Berkshires. Good move: The screening — of a movie in which he plays an estranged father after a messy divorce — would have been awkward. Penélope Cruz bought the wait staff at the Waverly Inn a round of shots. Rosie O'Donnell dropped a subtle hint that she may be headed to CBS. Boy George was arrested in London for keeping some guy chained to his wall. Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields gambled together in Vegas.