Heath and Michelle: Everything’s Wrong!Michelle Williams may be leaving Boerum Hill because the brownstone she lives in is too big for just her and the baby. A pregnant Nicole Richie smoked a cigarette outside Da Silvano. Ed Westwick, a.k.a. Chuck Bass on Gossip Girl, likes playing the bad boy. (Also, he’s British!) Ryan Gosling shopped for flannel shirts at the Urban Outfitters on West 14th and also set off the store alarm. Jennifer Hudson canoodled with New York Jets free safety Kerri Rhodes at Cipriani. Joan Rivers claims her apartment was once haunted by a Jewish ghost from Larchmont. Natalie Portman couldn’t flirt her way to a table at LES restaurant Apizz. The launch party of the Supper Club at the National Arts Club was way too hot.
WMD Found — in Midtown
• A soda-size can of phosgene, the deadly chemical Saddam used to kill countless Kurds in the eighties, was discovered stashed away in a U.N. office yesterday, but no one has any idea how it got there after weapons inspectors brought it back from Iraq in the mid-nineties. Reassuring. [NYT]
Saddam Lives?An agent claims to have forensic evidence and government documents that allege Saddam Hussein is still alive and well. Former CBS News reporter turned professional CBS basher Bernard Goldberg takes shots at Les Moonves and Katie Couric in his newest book. The relationship between 77-year-old Barbara Walters and 80-year-old Robert N. Butler is heating up. Arianna Huffington broke her cheekbone and got stitches after fainting in her office from exhaustion. Taxi tycoon Andrew Murstein bought a suite at Madison Square Garden for $500,000. The man accused of shaking down Oprah Winfrey claims he was set up by her lawyer, according to Radar. Exes Tom Arnold and Roseanne Barr continue to dislike each another.
Bill Clinton’s Handshakes Are Still FetishizedMike Bloomberg, Ron Perelman, and David Koch are the three most philanthropic New Yorkers, according to the Chronicle of Philanthropy. Bill Clinton gave Cindy Adams a tutorial on shaking hands. An old man yelled at Edie Falco. Peter Fonda says stage actors “have intercourse with the audience every night.” Donald Trump wants to dump Nancy O’Dell as the host of Miss USA. A random model — Amber Valletta — doesn’t care for New York. Josh Hartnett and Maria Sharapova considered doing karaoke on Thursday night. Steve Schwarzman grew up poor.
End of the Race
• As you probably know by now, Brazil’s Gomes dos Santos won the men’s side of the New York marathon yesterday in a massive upset; Jelena Prokopcuka of Latvia defended her women’s title. Lance Armstrong came in 856th. And, in a rare moment when the cliché actually makes sense, a good time was had by all. (Yuk yuk yuk.) [AP via NYDN]
• The Post, classy as ever, Photoshops a noose on Saddam’s neck, as Republicans furiously milk the dictator’s curiously well-timed death sentence for last-minute gains. [NYP]
• Jury selection begins in one of the weirdest murder trials in recent history: A one-legged Long Island man shot an arrow at a stranger he found threatening, piercing his heart and killing him. The alleged bow killer, although caught on the run, is pleading not guilty. [amNY]
• The Intrepid sails off! The museum ship — as familiar a fixture on the West Side as the Lincoln Tunnel, at least for the last few decades — is heading to Bayonne, New Jersey, for repairs. Eighty-eight-year-old Rear Admiral Lloyd Abbot Jr., who commanded it more than 40 years ago, will serve as skipper for the short journey. [WNBC]
• And Jeanine Pirro gets a late endorsement for attorney general where it counts: from the New York City Department of Correction Columbia Association (an organization of Italian-American prison workers). We don’t even know which joke to go with here. [Empire Newswire]