And hopefully brings his pet shark with him.
"Because the only thing more stupid than being eaten would be being eaten and not having the videotape."
Sure, they'll be walled off in a giant aquarium ... for now.
A 24-foot-long sea beast beached itself on a Long Island shore earlier today. Humans were only mildly thwacked.
And in hunting down this video, we make a special discovery about the fans of Anderson Cooper.
No matter what the Discovery Channel says, sharks would, indeed, like to kill and eat you.
We would have maybe started by getting drunk with a room full of geese, but this is probably good practice, too.