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Steve Guttenberg

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Steve Guttenberg Smells Good

Watch the video to get skin-care tips from the Goot and hear his amorous tales of elevator love.

By Jonah Green and Dave Hill

Don't Cry for Us, O.J. Simpson

O.J. Simpson had a ghostwriter for his never-released memoir, If I Did It (who'd have thunk it!) and even practiced a crying scene for his TV interview with Judith Regan. Barry Bonds's ex-mistress, who has alleged that the slugger has used steroids, is shopping a tell-all and nude pictorial. Enrique Iglesias wishes he were gay. Nathan Lane wants to start a heterosexual pride parade, with George W. Bush as grand marshal. Jay McInerney is sick of telling people he broke his foot chasing after a taxi. Madonna didn't invite Janet Jackson to sit at her booth at Butter, though she did hang out with Shakira. Also: Ashton, Demi, and Penélope were there. The flowers at the Waldorf-Astoria wedding of billionaire Russian heiress Angelina Anisimova and real-estate developer Ryan Freedman cost $1 million. John McCain didn't wash his hands before leaving a restroom in East Hampton.