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Sunshine Sachs

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Steve Tisch, Billionaire Baller?

Newly divorced billionaire and New York Giants co-owner Steve Tisch might be dating women on both coasts. Martha Stewart created a special Christmas tree for Sirius Radio's office, complete with Howard Stern cookie ornaments. Former NYSE head Dick Grasso left CNBC's Charles Gasparino a creepy "merry Christmas" message on his answering machine, despite the fact that Gasparino's new book takes Grasso to task for the $190 million kiss-off he took after leaving the Exchange. John Mayer has had a crush on Ricki Lake for two years (Ed. note: WTF?!), and actually got her digits at the wonderfully successful Sunshine Sachs Christmas party. Lance Armstrong picked up the tab for dinner with former flame Sheryl Crow. Jorge Posada and Mariano Rivera hung out together at the Sports Illustrated Sportsman of the Year party. Andy Samberg, Amy Poehler, and Seth Meyers had lunch together.

John Mayer Was the Second-Tallest Man at the Sunshine Sachs Holiday Party

What's that sucking sound? Oh, right — that's the Ghost of Christmas Present siphoning all feeling but holiday cheer out of the city. It's December, people, and you know what that means. Company holiday parties! This is the week the season kicks into high gear, and so we're reintroducing our Office-Party Patrol feature. Last year, we had dedicated partygoer Julia Allison crash company booze fests, but now she is too booby and famous, so we're doing it ourselves. If we can't get into a party, we'll accost the drunkest person we see leaving it and find out everything you're missing. In today's premier installment, we take you to the ever-evolving Sunshine Sachs PR party and the ever-devolving CollegeHumor.com fête — and we rank each one for food, drink, venue, debauchery, and exclusivity. Who won? Don't be silly people — at office holiday parties, nobody wins.