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Paula Deen Encounters ‘Proud’ Naked Man; Rats, Sysco Takes Over

Paula Deen is confronted with a naked man in a hotel and kindly gives him her newspaper to cover up with. Not the Food Network star we would have expected this story to be about. [NYP] Rats, big ones, have taken up residence at the KFC-Taco Bell on West 4th Street and Sixth Avenue, and WNBC has the video to prove it. [WNBC] A lot of New Yorkers are cooking up a storm for their Oscar parties. Personally, we think they would do better to heed Rob and Robin’s advice, and just order out. [NYDN] Related: Oscar Night Delivery: East Side Edition Oscar Night Delivery, Part II: West Side [NYM]

All We Want For Christmas ...

In case you’re wondering what we want for Christmas here on Grub Street, we’ve actually gone to the trouble of making a list. • A Grub Street outpost in Las Vegas. Possibly built in conjunction with Hawaiian Tropic Zone, with David Burke as consulting chef. • A James Beard Rising Star Chef award. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!!!! • A bar stool alongside Mario Batali and Courtney Love at the Spotted Pig. Then a hot ice pick with which to blind ourselves. • A new restaurant which brags about “year-round” ingredients grown “all over the place, and bought from SysCo.” • A menu that eschews subtitles, credits, translations, geography, or recipes in favor of big, detailed full-color pictures of every dish — just like at Denny’s. • The permanent destruction of the Cookshack smoker, the last refuge of mediocre urban barbecue cooks. (The Cookshack, a refrigerator-size device that “smokes” with the aid of a handful of electrically warmed chips, is a sad replacement for a real wood smoker, like the ones used at RUB and other major barbecue establishments.) • An end to “soft openings.” When you’re ready to open, open. Come hard or don’t come at all! • Three good new Jewish delis, five good new non-gourmet pizzerias, ten good new local Chinese restaurants, and no more gourmet-burger operations. • Unless, of course, it’s the White Castle on Avenue B we’ve always wished for.