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The Children Of New York Will Rule Us All

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Nightmare on West 84th Street

Public School 9 on the Upper West Side accidentally misplaced tests taken by 60 pre-kindergartners and kindergartners for the city's Gifted and Talented programs. Uh-oh.

By Jessica Pressler

Matt Moinian in 30 Seconds or Less

Congratulations to 23-year-old developer Matt Moinian, the approximately 555,345,671st child of privilege to be profiled in the New York ‘Observer.’

By Jessica Pressler

No Child Left Behind?

One Soho child defaults on her admission to the Little Red School House, and the act reverberates around the world.

Meet David Karp, Small Wonder

We don't know about you, but to us there's nothing worse that starting our day off reading about some wunderkind who's accomplished more by the age of 21 than we have in our adult lives thus far. Seriously, do teenagers not even smoke pot anymore? Today the Sun profiles David Karp, an Upper West Sider who left behind a "normal childhood" and quit Bronx Science as a sophomore to work on UrbanBaby. Since cashing in on that company's sale, Karp has founded several successful tech start-ups, including a new social-networking Website called Tumblr. It's pretty cool, a combination of a blog and Facebook, which is perfect if you are a chronic exhibitionist like Karp's investor Jacob Lodwick. "The VCs were ready to throw millions at us," Karp tells the Sun, but of course, he's all about the users. "Our focus is not selling it to Google in two years or flipping it," Mr. Karp said. Hm. Yes, but David, are you happy on the inside? Oh … really? Are you sure? The 21-Year-Old Behind a 'Darling' New York Web Startup [NYS]

Ellis Gallagher Will Make All Sidewalks Safe for Chalking Children Again

Ellis Gallagher
Meet Ellis Gallagher, Brooklynite and first non-child victim in the sidewalk-chalk war. Gallagher, who has been drawing silhouettes on the streets for the past three years (he's been profiled in the Times and has lectured on graffiti as art at the Brooklyn Museum), was the city's first chalk-related arrest last week when police saw him at work during the filming of a profile set to air in early November as part of Channel 13's "New York Voices" series. "I've been stopped before, but once they see it's chalk, they lay off," Gallagher says. He was carted around to three different precincts and charged with making graffiti, possessing graffiti instruments, and making mischief before charges were dropped in Red Hook court the next day.

Park Slope Child Strikes Again

Natalie Shea
Natalie Shea, the Park Slope child whose neighbor called the fuzz on her when she tagged the sidewalk in front of her building last week, remains free, despite our efforts. And it appears that she still hasn't learned her lesson. The Brooklyn Paper caught the little ruffian scribbling on the sidewalk again this week, and it looks like she was doing so with the encouragement of her parents. “We just think the whole thing is ridiculous, and we’re showing it,” Natalie’s mom, Jen Pepperman, told the paper, clearly high on the publicity they received last week after the paper's original story was picked up by the BBC, among other news outlets. “This created more controversy than the Bush wiretapping,” said Natalie’s father, George Shea, who is described as a public-relations expert. (Christ. If he worked for us, we would fire him immediately for saying something so totally Brooklyn-y.) But exactly how far are the Pepperman-Sheas (Christ. The 'Pepperman-Sheas.') willing to go with their stand against The Man? They have one more week to respond to their letter from the city asking them to remove the graffiti before they get slapped with a $300 fine. Will they remove the graffiti and risk being fined? And then, will they pay the fine or let their daughter go to the pokey? If it's the latter, we suggest little Natalie watch out for Foxy Brown. She doesn't take any shit, we heard. Defiant Tot: I'll Tag Again [Brooklyn Paper] Earlier: Sidewalk Chalking Is a Gateway Crime

Sidewalk Chalking Is a Gateway Crime

Natalie Shea
The children of Brooklyn are guilty of many offenses against their neighbors: They cry during brunch, they cough on you in Target, and their giant lolling heads and flailing little limbs make the sidewalks a nightmare to navigate. But it's not very often that they commit actual crimes punishable by law. Today's Brooklyn Paper tells the story of one Natalie Shea, a 6-year-old Park Slope girl who was fined $300 by the city for defacing the sidewalk in front of her house with large sticks of colored chalk. The scribbles prompted a neighbor fluent in obscure local legislation to call 311 and report the little scofflaw. “According the New York penal law, graffiti is the etching, painting, covering, drawing, or otherwise placing of a mark upon public or private property with intent to damage such property,” an NYPD spokesman told reporter Gersh Kuntzman. “If it can be washed away, it’s not graffiti, clearly, but it still could be criminal mischief. If I cover your car with mustard, that’s not graffiti, but it’s also not legal.” Hm. Mustard. Anyway. Maybe you feel bad for Natalie, since she's only 6, and only playing? Don't! As you can see, she hasn't exactly learned her lesson — there she is doing it again (top left)! Look at that little smirk. Now if only they would criminalize those giant strollers… New Face of Vandalism? [Brooklyn Paper]