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The Third Terminator

  1. Michael Bloomberg Rips Wolf Blitzer for Question That’s ‘Insulting to America’He informed the CNN host that he didn’t like his “tone.”
  2. Bloomberg Is Creating a New Gun-Control Group to Rival the NRAHe’ll spend $50 million this year, maybe more.
  3. Revealed: Michael Bloomberg’s All-Business E-mails About Citi Bikes and PotholesIf I were to write him a nice love letter, he would respond, ‘tx,’” says a friend.
  4. Michael Bloomberg Calling It a Day a Little Early, Has Plans TonightI will still be on call till 11:59:59.”
  5. Woman Protests E-Cigarette Ban by Smoking in Bloomberg’s PresenceIndoors!
  6. Michael Bloomberg Almost Smiles in City Hall Bullpen PortraitHis legacy: frowns and an open floor plan.
  7. Bloomberg Spent $650 Million of His Own Money Playing Fantasy MayorThe back-of-the-envelope math.
  8. Honor Mayor Bloomberg’s Legacy by Purchasing This Painting of Him With an OwlHidden, stealth, swiftness, darkness, freedom.”
  9. Baby Will Spend One Week As Mayor of New York City’s GrandsonAfter that, Jasper Michael Brown Quintana will just be another billionaire’s grandkid.
  10. Mayor Bloomberg Finally Did Saturday Night LiveBetter late than never.
  11. Michael Bloomberg and John Gambling Sign OffThis morning was the final weekly radio chat for the pair.
  12. Bloomberg on Dasani: ‘That’s the Way God Works’ This kid was dealt a bad hand,” he said. “I don’t know quite why.”
  13. Bloomberg Starting Consulting Group for CitiesFor free.
  14. Real El Bloombito to Haters: ‘Get a Life’The mayor says both his Spanish and his golf swing will continue to get better.
  15. Bloomberg Getting Emotional in His Final MonthsSo the third terminator is human after all.
  16. After Brief Respite, Bloomberg Pestered for Endorsements AgainFor Cuomo’s reelection bid.
  17. Bloomberg Was in Bermuda During Train DerailmentShould we care?
  18. Bloomberg Deploys Perfect Fashion Metaphor for De Blasio WinI liken it to hemlines.”
  19. Bloomberg Can’t Recall Ever Criticizing De Blasio Maybe he calls lots of people “racist”?
  20. NYC Teens Have 180 Days to Buy As Many Cigarettes As They Can AffordBloomberg has raised the purchasing age to 21.
  21. Bloomberg Has Always Said Whatever the Hell He WantsUm, how do you think I got wealthy?”
  22. Did Reverse Bribery Help Bloomberg Govern?De Blasio won’t have those deep pockets to help him out.
  23. Bloomberg Promises Not to Criticize De Blasio For a Little While At LeastThese jobs are tough enough without an extra voice criticizing you.”
  24. Bloomberg Not Good With Children, Says DaughterGo figure.
  25. Bigmouth Strikes Again: Michael Bloomberg’s Greatest Radio HitsHis weekly appearance on the “The John Gambling Show” left us with a glorious collection of gaffes.
  26. Bloomberg Resists Urge to Gloat About Stop-and-Frisk, Embrace Weiner CostumeWhere’s his Halloween spirit?
  27. Bloomberg’s Plan to Hide the Cigarettes Won’t HappenBut the smoking age will probably rise.
  28. Bloomberg’s Bathroom Legacy in the ToiletCity lagging in the pay-potty department.
  29. The Met Can Charge Whatever It Wants, Thanks to BloombergThe museum has amended its lease with the city amid two lawsuits.
  30. Mayor Bloomberg Wins First ‘Jewish Nobel Prize’Just because New Yorkers aren’t paying attention doesn’t mean he’s being ignored.
  31. Mayor Bloomberg Sees Lack of Affordable Housing As a ‘Good Sign’It is, for some people.
  32. Mayor Bloomberg Forced Us to Photoshop Him As a Woman Wearing High HeelsHere is the (fake) photo. 
  33. Mayor Bloomberg Does Not Care for This Banksy VandalismBut “nobody’s a bigger supporter of the arts than I am.”
  34. Mexicans Don’t Want Bloomberg Harassing Them About Soda Consumption EitherHe “has the right to be crazy,” but can’t “impose his craziness on us.”
  35. Bloomberg Pretended to Like His Potential SuccessorLong enough to shake hands with Lhota and De Blasio.
  36. Bloomberg’s ‘Taxi of Tomorrow’ Blocked by CourtJust like the soda ban.
  37. Bloomberg Offers Booker Help, Though He Doesn’t Really Need ItHe’s winning, but not by a big enough margin.
  38. Seventh-Grade Essay on Mayor Bloomberg Sparks Kim Jong-il ComparisonThankfully, there are no consequences for insulting our dear leader.
  39. Mayor Bloomberg Has a Secret E-mail AddressBut he uses it for public business, according to a report.
  40. Bloomberg Remembers When It Was Only Safe to Eat at Tavern on the GreenBefore he fixed everything.
  41. Mayor Bloomberg Can’t Understand Why Reporters Keep Asking Him About PoliticsIt’s like they think it’s his job or something.
  42. Michael Bloomberg May Testify in CityTime CaseQuite a way to go out.
  43. Michael Bloomberg Thinks He’s a ‘Godsend’That goes for all billionaires.
  44. N.Y. Post, NYPD Scaremonger Over Stop-and-FriskIt’s a coordinated scaremongering effort.
  45. Bloomberg’s Analysis of Colorado Gun RecallIt was a defeat for the NRA?
  46. Hiding Cathie Black E-mails Cost City $160,000By city we mean taxpayers!
  47. Bloomberg Says He Won’t Endorse Anyone for MayorSorry, Joe Lhota.
  48. Fran Lebowitz Destroys Mayor Bloomberg in Quip-OffHere’s how many lives he’s saved: zero.”
  49. De Blasio Responds to Bloomberg’s Comments About His ‘Racist’ CampaignAnd it all started right here.
  50. Bloomberg May Endorse a Successor After AllDe Blasio could drive him to it.
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