Former Bear Stearns CEO Jimmy Cayne is apparently feeling pretty mellow about the fact that Bear Stearns stock is at an all-time low; the 74-year-old bridge-master and alleged pothead and his wife, Patricia, just closed on not one but two adjacent apartments at the Plaza for $28.24 million. Altogether, they'll have 6,000 square feet, plus room service, maid service, and unparalleled views of Central Park. Yeah. And if you think that sounds sick, you should check it out after a few hits of the Purple Haze. Neighbors include foundering real-estate developer Harry Macklowe, Tommy Hilfiger, and a noted egg lover Joanna Cutler. Which reminds us: Cayne might want to be careful when he's all stoned up and taking out the garbage. We hear that the trash room on that floor can be kind of a bad trip.
Posh Plaza Purchase [PageSix.com]
Earlier: Joanna Cutler Reunited With Egg After Horrifying Ordeal
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Considering we're such die-hard Beverly Hills, 90210 lovers, it was almost too perfect that the marquee guest at Betsey Johnson's prom-themed fashion show was none other than Tori Spelling herself, (in)famous for the time her alter-ego Donna Martin almost didn't graduate because she got drunk on champers at prom.
Scanning the horizon for signs of the apocalypse, we don't see any plague, pestilence, or marks of the beast. But is that Paris Hilton cuddling the Bible? Hollywood's recent headlines point only to end-times. Take heed, and take cover. The signals are after the jump.