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Totally Hosed

A twenty-man brawl at a Turtle Bay bar pit firefighters against civilians.

By Daniel Maurer

Don't Fear the River, Lower East Siders!

Escalator vigilantes in Union Square, riverside Ping-Pong for the LES, and (gasp) a "sick" dog run in the Slope. Yep, it's Freaky Friday in our daily boroughs report.

Some Old CBGB Punks Think the John Varvatos Store Isn't That Bad

Fancy cornices aim to redeem Fedders homes in Carroll Gardens, aging rockers defend CBGB's new retail use on the Bowery, and a Billyburg record store faces shutdown. Oh yeah, the boroughs are alive and well in our handy-dandy Neighborhood Watch!

Stuy Town Residents Finally Get to Have Puppies!

Cuddly, scrumptious puppies! The people who live there must be so happy! Or not: "We will now have sidewalks like the rest of the city with puddles of urine and smears of dog poop," grumbles one. All this and more in our daily roundup of neighborhood news.

A Biggie Biopic Grows in Brooklyn

A movie in Clinton Hill, a murder in Carroll Gardens, Obama faces popping up all over Brooklyn, and more in our daily roundup of neighborhood news.

Now Carrie Bradshaw Is Really Going to Need a Cell Phone

Bushwick: Teens here are flipping the bird to military recruiters, instead embracing Che Guevara and Cesar Chavez at their own social-justice high school. [Indypendent] East Village: Is the end near for that infamous phone booth on Avenue A where "thousands of heroin orders have been placed"? [Neither More Nor Less] Flatbush: The city wants to refurbish the grand but fading 1929 Loew's Kings Theater, where Brooklyn beep Marty Markowitz got his first kiss. Sexy imagery like that should help accelerate the project. [Real Deal via Ditmas Park Blog]

Scores Stripper Not So Sure About Drag De La Hoya

The Scores stripper who had the photos of Oscar De La Hoya in drag is now saying she cannot "personally verify the authenticity of the images," likely because she was threatened by De La Hoya's lawyer. Lever House owner and real-estate mogul Abe Rosen is forcing tenants (including art collector Robert Wilson) out of his nine-story building on 67 Vestry Street to turn it into a luxury condo building. Miss USA Rachel Smith says she wants to be taken seriously as a TV reporter and not "end up like Katie Couric." Donald Trump denied having once punched his second-grade music teacher, despite having written about the story in a book. Bruce Willis and his eight-person entourage were denied entry to Socialista at 3 a.m. Ivanka Trump's jewelry line predictably does not include diamond grills. Dates with some hot firefighters are being auctioned off for charity at Turtle Bay Lounge tonight.

Did Brooklyn Inspire ‘Urinetown’?

Chelsea: Blogging about the McBurney Y has inspired at least one documentary about gentrification. [Blog Chelsea] Clinton Hill: Nothing like finding a used colostomy bag on the street. [Clinton Hill Blog] Malba: Residents of this Queens enclave are protesting the construction of a massive Korean day spa, saying it will cause a traffic nightmare. [Times Ledger via Queens Crap] Park Slope: What's with the kids peeing on trees? [Gowanus Lounge] Turtle Bay: East 48th Street at Second Avenue may be renamed for a former resident, the recently deceased author Kurt Vonnegut. Call it Slaughterhouse 48? [NYS] West Village: Behold the first High Line's–eye view of the in-progress Standard Hotel straddling the old elevated rail line. [Curbed]