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Turtles

  1. election 2020
    Anderson Cooper Has Snapped and He’s Taking the Good Name of Turtles With HimWhoa, whoa, whoa, let’s not bring our good friends, the chelonians, into this.
    By Halle Kiefer
  2. celebrity friendships
    Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence Raise Awareness for Runaway Pet TurtlesThey also have quite the story about sharing the same “stalker.”
    By Tolly Wright
  3. amazing things
    ‘Big Ass Turtle’ Survives High-Speed Car Crash in FloridaThe turtle was hit by one car and propelled through the windshield of another car going more than 70 mph. 
    By Chas Danner
  4. bad ideas
    Canadian Man Faces Jail Time for Smuggling Turtles in His PantsHe strapped 41 turtles around his legs and hid 10 in between.
    By Elaine Godfrey
  5. companions
    Meet New York’s Oldest Third-GraderMolasses, an Eastern box turtle, is 55 years old and lives in Room 208 at Friends Seminary.
    By Christopher Bonanos
  6. party chat
    Parker Posey: ‘I’m Not Anti-Hipster; I’m an Aging Hipster’A turtle-inspired conversation about prehistoric times and hipster hair.
    By Jenni Avins
  7. turtle men
    Mitch McConnell Looks Like a TurtleWe were all thinking it, but the Daily Caller acted on it.
    By Dan Amira
  8. why they hate us
    Terrifying Turtle Stampede Delays Flights at JFKThis again?
    By Chris Rovzar
  9. Mediavore
    Ilan Hall Gets Hate Mail; Edible Frogs and Turtles BannedThe Gorbals is accused of being sacrilegious and two popular Asian delicacies are off California’s menu.
    By Hadley Tomicki
  10. in other news
    Two-Headed Turtlenapping in Brooklyn!A famously freaky turtle in a Brooklyn pet shop has been stolen. We imagine what must have been going through its head … er, heads.
    By Chris Rovzar