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The Media Takes a Few Breaths

Some old pals get dunked, only to resurface again, and some magazines go online for good.

By Mike Vilensky

Michael Musto Does Lindsay Lohan As Marilyn Monroe

Michael Musto as Lindsay Lohan
God bless Michael Musto. In an homage (we'll choose to call it that) to New York's recent nude Lindsay Lohan photo spread, the Village Voice columnist decided to stage his own version. He painstakingly re-created each pose, which Lindsay had, in turn, re-created from the original Marilyn Monroe series. (Bert Stern, who photographed both Lindsay and Marilyn, did not work with Musto.) Writes Michael:
I've long lived quite dangerously myself, and so, anxious to share my desperate man-tits with an audience beyond Chelsea, I gleefully agreed to star in an homage to an homage: Musto as Lohan as Marilyn. That's three generations of loveliness, and I prepared for it by not shaving or waxing a thing, just letting it all hang in the wind as both a nod to history and a means of reclaiming control. Just like with Marilyn and Lindsay, people have always grabbed at me, wanting a piece of my piece and a slice of my soul, but usually with more pepperoni and less cheese.
You've got to click through to look at the entire slideshow. We'll warn you: It's not safe for work. Or, with all due love and respect to Musto, lunch. Michael Musto as Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe. . . in "The Ultimate Re-Vamping" [VV] Related: Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe in "The Last Sitting" [NYM]

Global Grub Abounds at ‘Voice’ Choice Eats

There’s a lot to recommend the Voice’s Choice Eats dinner, coming up on March 11 and taking rezzies now. For one thing, it’s cheap: These kind of events are usually a small fortune, whereas this one costs $25 in advance, and $35 at the door. But more important, the restaurants represented are all ones searched out by the paper’s xenophilic critic, Robert Sietsema. Sietsema’s various West African stew houses and Uzbek kebab palaces tend to be more read about than visited and are spread far throughout the five boroughs. The event — a chance to eat at 30 of them at the same time (including Albert's Mofongo House, Yeti of Hieizan, and Peppa's Jerk Chicken) — amounts to a global-cheap-eats summit. No self-respecting New York gastronaut should consider doing anything else that night. You can buy tickets here. The Puck Building, 295 Lafayette St., nr. Houston St.; Mar. 11, 6:30–11:30 p.m.

Sietsema to Blow the Lid Off ‘Iron Chef’ Tomorrow

The Village Voice’s press department writes in to let us know that the cover story of tomorrow’s issue will be Robert Sietsema’s “Iron Chef Boyardee,” in which “our man Sietsema gets into an Iron Chef America taping, and learns that the reality TV show is more bogus than even he realized.” When we attended an Iron Chef tasting, we did wonder how so much good food could be invented and cooked in an hour when many New York restaurants can’t do the same in six months. Maybe it was sleight of hand? Related: ‘Iron Chef’ Taping Leads to Earth-Shattering Revolution

Michael Musto Finds a Blog Home, At Last

Michael Musto
All together now: three snaps up, in a circle. Legendary Village Voice scribe Michael Musto has entered the blogosphere! He told us last night while we were out at (where else?) Beige, but before we could do a scoopy post, his publicist sent out a press release. "Complimenting his immensely popular weekly 'La Dolce Musto' column, readers will be tipped off to breaking news items and get the most crucial news from the world of nightlife, entertainment, politics," explains the breathless missive. Musto will do one post a day, he told us last night. We could not be more excited. Musto is hilarious and raunchy — in fact, he's the only gay writer who makes fart jokes. In the whole world! "I'm really nervous about finding things to write about," he explained, but judging by today's entry, he should be fine. Here's our favorite part of today's post (which does a much better job of selling it than the press release), in which the shy Musto is confronted by gay performer Ari Gold (yes, really) and accused of not giving Gold enough publicity:
Gold feels that as an openly gay artist, he deserves a heaping of attention from me, who champions homo talent all the time. In all candor, I told him I don't write much about music, but he shot back, "I don't buy that" — not the most gracious response to a gracious response, but again, very singular. Another valid excuse is that I don't automatically write about someone just because they're openly gay. If that were an instant ticket to publicity, there'd be a lot more artists bursting out of the closet (which would actually be fabulous — maybe next week I'll plug every single out person there is, but perhaps not the murderers).
Welcome to the blog underworld, Michael! We've been awaiting you. Just don't get injured, ya hear? The Daily Musto [VV]

Keith Olbermann Creates a Perfect Media Moment

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So if Balk's Cock writing from under the desk at Radar to apply for Alex Balk's old job at Gawker.com wasn't meta-media enough for you, take a look at this video. It's Keith Olbermann on his Countdown show reading aloud Tom Tomorrow's cartoon "Bill O'Reilly's Very Useful Advice for Young People," which appeared in the Village Voice last week. Olbermann reads the panels (at length) in O'Reilly's voice, including the parts about how Olbermann himself has a small cock. Click the image above and let us know: Is it boring? Is it genius? Is it just plain confusing? Damned if we know. But to add another meta-layer to this post, why don't you just imagine it was written by Daily Intel's cock. Makes everything funnier, no? Olbermann Channels Tom Tomorrow Channeling O'Reilly [VV]

‘Village Voice’ Still Totally Crushing Out on Spitzer

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Village Voice vet Wayne Barrett finally lets loose on the lame “Troopergate” scandal with a withering cover feature that, frankly, made us a bit nostalgic for the alterna-weekly's better days. Joe Bruno, of course, is overzealously pursuing Eliot Spitzer for overzealously pursuing Joe Bruno, and, legislatively speaking, zilch is getting done as a result. To Barrett, it's a GOP smear campaign pure and simple, with the bonus effect of keeping the spotlight off Bruno (who probably did abuse his airplane privileges). “The Republicans are trying to depict Spitzer as a tyrant who will use police powers to silence or defeat them,” he writes, “and they couldn't be happier to have [Andrew] Cuomo … as their witness and cheerleader.”

‘Village Voice’ Calculates City Migration in Terms of Hipsters

Those Damn MisShapes
Village Voice blogger Michael Clancy takes a look at comptroller Bill Thompson's analysis of city migration today, and decides that since twice as many people leave the city annually as arrive, the city must specifically be getting fewer hipsters. We have to question this logic, as it seems like there are more and more of them every day, and fewer and fewer people who wear jeans of an appropriate tightness. In fact, just recently, we couldn't happen to notice that when the dive destination Spitzer's Corner opened on Ludlow and Rivington, the vast space was immediately filled with hipsters, the way a hole dug by a child on the beach too near the ocean inexorably fills with water. And there was no dent in the population of hipsters everywhere else on the Lower East Side! Anyway, we digress. Thompson's study also explains that it's lower income families that are fleeing the city, especially those with young kids — and young unmarried college grads are replacing them. Interesting, right? Also, did you hear the MisShapes aren't drawing people to the city any more? Now that's news! City Getting Less Hipsters [VV]

Facebook Exerts Yet More Power

FINANCE • Kathleen Corbet, the president of Standard & Poor's, agreed to step down after her company failed to accurately rate subprime bonds. Deven Sharma, an executive vice-president at S&P, will take her place as president. [Bloomberg] • An angry Facebook group convinced HSBC, Britain's largest bank, to stop charging interest on overdrafts by recent grads. You see, interest rates are so Web 1.0. [Times of London via DealBreaker] • With few big M&A deals on the horizon, it may seem like investment bankers could just stay in the Hamptons for the rest of the year. But the backlog of big deals from the halcyon days of last spring should keep them plenty busy — as long as the deals don't fall through. [Deal Journal/WSJ]

Food-Labor Discord Spreads to Laborers

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If our recent coverage of the deliveryman revolt caused you to imagine a Utopia in which once lowly restaurant workers pour bubbly on their bikinied yacht passengers while singing “I’m a go-getter,” think again: A feature in today’s Village Voice indicates that all is not well within the Restaurant Opportunity Center of New York (ROC-NY), the group that protests alleged labor-law-flaunting restaurants like Daniel, Smith & Wollensky, and the Fireman Hospitality Group’s eateries. The nonprofit is being sued by former members who allege that they were cheated out of a fair share of the ROC’s pioneering co-op restaurant, Colors. And that’s just the start of the beef. Fork Off [VV] Related: Deliveryman Revolt Continues With No Check in Sight [Grub Street] The Delivery Man’s Uprising [NYM]

Rudy Giuliani, Nasty Man — Even to His Kids

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Wayne Barrett, the professional anti-Giuliani, has a piece in this week's Village Voice considering what might have made America's Mayor's daughter, Caroline, grow up to be a Barack Obama supporter. Some fun details of life at home with the Giulianis: 1. Rudy brought Caroline to City Hall on Take Your Daughters to Work Day in 1994 and 1995, his first two years as mayor, but never again — because by 1996 "the relationship between Giuliani and his twentysomething press secretary had so poisoned the marriage that all such family events were impossible."

'Voice' Undercuts Giuliani's Entire Candidacy, No One Notices

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This week's Village Voice — yeah, we're a day late, but, be honest, it's not like you've read it already — carries a cover story by Voice vet and professional Giuliani antagonist Wayne Barrett titled "Rudy Giuliani's Five Big Lies About 9/11." In it, Barrett examines a speech the former mayor delivered in Maryland two months ago, arguing that he had the most and best terrorism-fighting experience of any candidate for president. But Barrett isn't buying Giuliani's claims; in fact, he says they're a bunch of lies. How so?

Riding the B Line: Georgia on Our Mind

Somewhere in the world there may be a train line that covers more gastronomic territory than the B and V subway lines, which start in southernmost Brooklyn and end deep in Queens, but if there is, we don’t know about it. For the next twenty-odd weeks, we'll be riding the B and V from Coney Island all the way to Forest Hills, jumping off frequently to rave about our favorite restaurants and food stores near the subway. This week: The Sheepshead Bay B Stop

Suits of Armor: The New Suits of Seersucker

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So you're sitting there on the subway, bored and crowded and sort of hating your life (which is sort of inevitable in New York in August), and you see one of those School of Visual Arts ads promising the much more fun and fulfilling things you could be doing if you just took one of their classes. Yes, I would like to turn my passion into a program, you think. Or: Yes, I would like to learn to take pretty pictures of birds like the guy in that poster. As the always-angry Copyranter points out today, in SVA's latest campaign, as seen in the Voice, you now also have the option of becoming a knight. Or a blacksmith. Or something. All of which, we've got to tell you, seem even less pleasant to be doing on humid 90-degree-plus days than squeezing onto the downtown Lex. Maybe it's nice to know that things could be worse? School of Visual Arts Doth Prepare Thee Well, Young Apprentice [Copyranter]