Last week we printed an e-mail that was going around, in which a banker (and we think we know who) responded to a Craigslist post from a "spectacularly beautiful" woman who was offering a lifetime of sexy servitude to a hedge-fund type in exchange for a life of uptown leisure. The author of the response took issue with the woman's offer, saying that "in economic terms," she was a "depreciating asset" because her beauty will fade while he was an "earning asset" because his wealth would continue in perpetuity. It was awful and sexist but funny, so we all laughed and then that was that. But now, the "Depreciating Asset," or someone claiming to be her, has written a response to the responseon Craigslist.
If your grasp of finance were not a minority partner with your ego, you would realize that the "outflows" associated with my depreciating "assets" are quite certain, and therefore subject to a low discount rate when determining their present value. In addition, though your concept of economics evidentially failed to move past the 1950s, advancement in plastic surgery is not subject to the same limitation.
Whoever the lady is, she's not as facile with the economics as she would like us to believe — the post reads like she's consulting a textbook. But she does get in some good ones!
Rosie Perez is chill when it comes to being around the tons of buff, nearly naked men in the current Roundabout Theatre revival of the 1975 gay-bathhouse farce The Ritz, which she stars in as a talentless singer. "At first it was a little shocking, but now I see them naked backstage and I go, 'Move, excuse me,'" she said last night after the opening. Does the 43-year-old Perez, a native New Yorker, have any memories of Gotham in the seventies? "I remember the blackout in '77 and going to see Saturday Night Fever three times and screaming for John Travolta," she recalls. "And there were a lot of drugs and drug addicts and craziness and sex," she adds. "It was fabulous." Hmm. So, has she ever been to a real bathhouse? "Not a bathhouse bathhouse," she says, "but I did go to a fabulous place on 46th Street called Osaka. You wet-steam, dry-steam, then a 300-pound woman walks on your back. It's great." —Tim Murphy
* No, we didn't write it like that 'cause we think they're the same thing. Rumormongers!
Related: Kevin Chamberlin of 'The Ritz' Discusses Beefy, Naked Guys [Vulture]
71 Clinton Street, the former home of 71 Clinton Fresh Food and one of the New York dining world’s most hallowed addresses, will be back on the market next week after a previous deal collapsed. A Craigslist ad that put the rent at $11,500 for 1,200 square feet plus basement has now been removed, presumably because Tower Brokerage is adding the option of an adjacent corner space. Tower honcho Bob Perl says the previous lessee couldn’t handle the high rent and abandoned the space a week and a half ago. “It was an unknown-name type of entity,” Perl told us, speculating that they were inexperienced first-time operators. Want to make their same mistake? Call Bob now!
Retail Listings [Tower Brokerage]