Heath and Michelle: Everything's Wrong!
Vincent Gallo railed against a New York Post reporter who speculated that his penis in Brown Bunny was a prosthetic. The stars of the Sex and the City movie have all signed non-disclosure agreements regarding the plot, though Kristin Davis claims the Post is involved in some capacity. Brad Pitt bought a watch in New York. Mick Jagger barely missed a run-in with ex-wife Bianca at Cipriani in the Sherry-Netherland. Police commish Ray Kelly, who turns 66 next week, wears a hidden hearing aid. Carmen Electra hung out with Joan Jett backstage at Jones Beach.
The crowd at the Warhol Factor X Levi's X Damien Hirst show — or, more simply, "that Damien Hirst Levi's thing" — at Gagosian Gallery last night was a study in twins.
Sources claim Judith Regan often compared Jews to "rats" and "rodentia," but Regan (and her lawyer) deny it. Anybody who is anybody (Harold Ford! Harvey Weinstein! Taki Theodoracopolous!) has been spotted eating at Graydon Carter's friendly neighborhood joint, the Waverly Inn. Madonna is keen on adopting another child from Malawi, though her husband, Guy Ritchie, is not. Josh Hartnett is in an open relationship with Scarlett Johannson, which is why it's okay he was making out with Gisele Saturday night. PayPal dumped Vincent Gallo after he tried to sell more than, uh, T-shirts on his Website. John Mara, son of late, great Giants owner Wellington, got fired from a broadcast-booth job in 1978 for slamming his fist and knocking over equipment. Adam Levine allegedly got drunk and brought three girls back to his room at the Mercer, though his rep denies it. Republican fund-raiser Georgette Mosbacher had both Dems and GOPers over for dinner at her swank Fifth Avenue digs Tuesday. Ludacris ate with Cosmo's Kate White at Michael's. Hugh Jackman once gave his sister a stick of deodorant for Christmas. Liz Smith claims she's responsible for the new Rocky getting made.
Mayor Bloomberg and Diana Taylor got naked in the back of a car. (And it wasn't as exciting as you'd think.) A special-effects guy lost a hand while filming Leo DiCaprio's Blood Diamond. Kelly Ripa says Katie Couric avoids her. Someone took pictures of Jennifer Aniston; Aniston's bodyguard gave chase. A 16-year-old girl posted vaguely illicit photos of herself with Vincent Gallo on her blog; the world got creeped out. Molly Sims and her boyfriend are on the rocks. Barbra Streisand's contract requires bomb-sniffing dogs, "neatly dressed" security guards. Bono buys overpriced jeans because David Beckham does. CBS White House correspondent Bill Plante's adult son made a weird bomb threat on Martha's Vineyard. Ron Perelman had dinner; so did Owen Wilson and Kate Hudson. Liz Smith thinks Kim Jong Il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should be Time's "People of the Year." People hate Ann Coulter, unless they love her. Everyone hates Heather Mills. "Page Six" refutes reports that Emily White is Giacchetto's ghostwriter, which was reported on "Page Six." The residents of 25 Tudor City Place have an overzealous super and will have a nasty co-op meeting. It's good to be the "Let's get ready to rumble" guy.
Waiting to get into the Marc Jacobs show at the Armory tonight was like lining up for the new Star Wars, except with fashionistas instead of geeks. But the wait and the attendant fear that we were all about to be killed in the unholy, disorganized crush of humanity was worth it, because this was the premiere celeb spotting event of our lives.