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Vulture's First and Only Post Dedicated to the Paris Hilton Saga

Perhaps you heard? Paris is out of jail, and she's capitalizing on the moment by asserting her saintly desires to do everything short of joining a nunnery. And though she's not an actress, singer, or possessor of any kind of evident creative talent (despite her camp's claims to the contrary), you can be excused for having at least a vague interest in the frenetic media goings-on regarding her release.