See Sean Penn, Dev Patel, Rihanna, Ke$ha, and more from this month's magazines.
Lohan does Jesus, Pattinson passes out, Quentin Tarantino nibbles ear, and more from this month's issues.
There was, however, some free-form ivory pummeling.
The Oscar-nominated editor of the Coen brothers film doesn't, in fact, exist.
1. The White Stripes, "Icky Thump" (live on Conan) A pared-down performance of Jack and Meg's new single that rocks just as hard as the original, without all the superfluous bagpipery.