Beef Wellington and gold stars for all!
Vulture's all-time favorite child-abuse-based reality show Kid Nation is back in the news today after Nikki Finke reports that one former contestant who was injured during filming is pursuing a possible lawsuit against CBS.
Last night's finale of the first season of CBS' "grand social experiment" contained few surprises (and the "heart-wrenching" surprise we were promised turned out to be a parent-child reunion, which was hardly "heart-wrenching!").
After three exciting months filled with gold stars, chicken beheadings, and hot-air balloon rides, Kid Nation's inaugural season comes to a close tonight.
Also, there were barely enough to fill our glass.
Brains triumphed over brawn on last night's Kid Nation as 9-year-old Alex, Bonanza City's resident genius ("one of the smartest persons here," as Greg put it) beat out older, tougher kids — plus Jared, who adorably pledged to invent a teleportation device if he got the $20,000 — to win the coveted gold star.
Because ugly animals cannot wear makeup to make them look prettier, Taylor explains, killing them is permissible.
On this week's practically Taylor-free episode, pretty much everything that happened fell into one of three categories: Who the Hell Are You?, Gross!, and Awesome!
This is going to get anyone good and drunk.
Highlights from the heartwarming sixth episode gives us hope for the next generation.
Obviously this is the greatest thing ever.
Little did those chosen council members know that they would serve at the pleasure of the 34 other kids.
In the best-ever episode of the greatest reality show of all time, Bonanza City was torn apart by religious differences.
Which Kid Nation contestant would we most like to see drink bleach?
The kids debate the ethics of killing animals and reach a consensus: They feel like chicken tonight.
People love it!
It's finally here!
We got to thinking about which kids we'd most want to send off to Kid Nation, and realized the pop-culture pantheon is filled with irritating children who could really benefit from a sharp dose of bleach-flavored reality.
There's only a day and a few hours till the premiere of CBS's Kid Nation, the show that has parents upset, advertisers nervous, and children drinking bleach and lighting their heads on fire.
Plus: News about Michael Bay and Will Ferrell!
Inexplicably wary of having their brands identified with child abuse as entertainment, Procter & Gamble, Ford and GM, Verizon, Pepsi, and Anheuser-Busch have all said they won't run commercials during Nation, despite continued plans to sponsor the rest of CBS' vastly inferior prime-time lineup.
CBS is so sure Kid Nation will be a hit (as are we) that they've already put out an open casting call for a second season, posting a questionnaire on the official website for any prospective contestants.