Who got voted off?
In case you somehow missed all the Mary/Christ and apocalypse references, episode seven hits you on the head with a large-print edition of the New Testament.
"The subject has problems with lasting relationships and is possibly a high-functioning alcoholic."
If the Turkish oil wrestling episode of The L Word was like a night on Ecstasy, this week's show was the serotonin-starved day after.
It's clearer than ever that the survivors who survived did a bad, bad thing!
Who went home?
Last night, with this season's freeloading rejects now thankfully returned to obscurity, American Idol weighed the talents of the top twelve male contestants.
This little TV show is the by far the most compelling part of the Terminator franchise.
When a flyer heralds the arrival of lesbian Turkish oil wrestling at SheBar within the first moments of last night's show, can there be any doubt which slippery slope we're about to cascade down?
"Goodnight stars / Goodnight po-pos / Goodnight fiends."
Being one of the Oceanic Six can get you laid in any coffee shop in Europe.
Plus: Who cried the best?
Last night, American Idol flew successful contestants from eight previous episodes to Hollywood, California, ostensibly to pick the best singers, though really to weed out the ones who looked bad under real TV lighting.
Do kids today fantasize about an upbringing that involves military training in the jungles of Central America? Yes!
The Friday Night Lights writers like to keep the narratives cycles as tight as Tyra’s gym shorts.
This episode introduced a triumvirate of awful ideas!
Omar is the homicidal, trench-coat-wearing, shotgun-wielding, black, gay Spider-Man.
This episode would have rocked our world even if it didn't feature the comedic stylings of Jeremy Davies, a.k.a. the Twitchiest Actor on Earth.
Last night's episode of American Idol featured leftover contestants from the previous seven audition shows, presumably because Fox executives think they can air whatever they want these days and still top their strike-addled competition in the ratings.
Last night, American Idol traveled to Atlanta where the show had previously discovered the hidden talents of Clay Aiken, Fantasia Barrino, and Jennifer Hudson.
As part of their campaign to prove that Friday Night Lights is not a football show, the writers have gone back to the Tyra-in-tight-shorts well. Which is not something we’re inclined to complain about, per se.
So who's sober?