They give us hope that our golden years might offer something a little livelier than sponging off our children and clucking over our empty 401(k).
If Obama can withstand the pitchiness without running from Rockefeller Center screaming and covering his ears, it is our firm belief that he will win the presidency.
Six DVDs we imagine are playing on repeat on the Straight Talk Express' wide-screen TV — and what John McCain can learn from them.
Of course you have!
Sarah Palin may pop up on 'SNL' to strike back at Tina Fey, according to Bill Zwecker of the Chicago 'Sun-Times.'
As if the blockbuster success of 'Beverly Hills Chihuahua' weren't proof enough of our national godlessness, 'Religulous' is also a hit!
''Girls Just Wanna Have Lunch' was parody done under duress.'
'I've always said that the hardest part of writing satire or farce in America is that you're in competition with tomorrow's front page of 'USA Today.''
Sadly, Evan Bayh's 'Argentina's Economic Crisis: Hearing Before the Committee on Banking, Housing, and Urban Affairs, U.S. Senate' wasn't so lucky.
Do you know a single person under the age of 30 who would lift a finger for a Sheryl Crow album?
…for now. They're holding out for a Cabinet position.
Talking tough on terror! 'We won't be intimidated by thugs!'
'Maybe you are the next Lil Wayne, but probably not,' he told a room full of kids.
In which we take Frank Rich at his word and nominate the little robot from the future as the candidate for today.
Jonathan takes time out from his busy schedule of vampire-slaying to write an HBO screenplay.
But where does McCain stand on Schrute's pet issue, robot-gun transgenic babies?
On Monday, we jokingly suggested that Oliver Stone's W might be a comedy. Today, we were proven right.
50 Cent has changed his vote from "Obama" to "undecided," throwing November's election — and very possibly the future of our nation — into uncertainty.
Better than liking Man of the Year, at least.
The unlikely source for Barack Obama's catchy catchphrase.
Vulture-approved presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee crossed picket lines (via satellite) to appear on The ColberT ReporT last night, and for all those curious — and until Viacom sues it off of YouTube — here's the video.
And Chuck Norris as Secretary of Offense!
Plus: Who watches Prison Break? Okay, it's McCain.