Posted 06/24/09 in Vulture
Jonaspocalypse
Jonas Brothers Lose Half of Their Fans in Just Under a Year
Time to take a page from the Lady Gaga playbook, gents.
Posted 05/26/09 in Vulture
Jonaspocalypse
The Jonas Brothers: What Went Wrong?
The New York 'Times' asks, "Are the Jonas Brothers fizzling as a full-blown Walt Disney Company franchise?"
Posted 05/21/09 in Vulture
Jonaspocalypse
The Jonas Brothers to Save the Hamptons
The brothers are dropping $500,000 on a two-week rental this summer, thereby fixing Suffolk County's broken economy.
The Jonas Brothers vs. Swine Flu
The Jonas Brothers haven't canceled a concert over swine flu — they simply requested a night off to find a cure.
Will the Jonas Brothers Sink Disney?
Probably not, but then again, we majored in English, not finance.
Update: The Jonas Brothers’ Failing Streak Continues
Their new TV show was watched by a mere 3.2 million kids between 6 and 14, which is the approximate number of fans standing outside of Zac Efron's house on an average weekday.
Posted 03/02/09 in Vulture
Jonaspocalypse
The Jonas Brothers: Over
'Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience' made only $12.7 million this weekend, dashing all hopes for a national return to prosperity in our lifetime.
Posted 02/24/09 in Vulture
Quote Machine
Simon Cowell’s Post-Death Plans Will Be Great News to Anthony Hopkins
Plus: The Jonas Brothers will never break up.
First-Time Director Robert Davi on ‘The Dukes,’ Battling James Bond, and Meeting the Jonas Brothers
'My agent said, 'They want you to do a Jonas Brothers video.' And my kids and my wife were all going crazy.'
Posted 06/26/08 in Vulture
Apropos of Nothing
‘Umbrella’ Watch 2008: Is the Jonas Brothers’ ‘Burnin’ Up’ the Song of the Summer?
It has a mid-song rap!
Posted 06/23/08 in Vulture
Apropos of Nothing
The Jonas Brothers: Have They Peaked?
Only 13 million people watched the Jonas Brothers movie over the weekend — are they over?
Posted 05/22/08 in Vulture
Tube Junkie
The Jonas Brothers on ‘Idol’: Surprisingly Disappointing
Also, who is that smirking guy standing behind them, playing guitar?
Meet the New Goody-Goodies
Presenting the top ten churchgoing, non-drinking, promise-ring-wearing singer-actors — along with their great shames and potential for corruption. Yes, we remembered Miley Cyrus.
Posted 05/07/08 in Vulture
Apropos of Nothing
Jonas Brothers 3-D Movie to Reinvent the Concept of 3-D
The film will actually be presented in MIND-BLOWING 7-D.
Posted 04/01/08 in Vulture
Apropos of Nothing
Know Your Jonas Brothers Overlords
If the Jonas Brothers are, as we suspect, about to take over the entire world, it would behoove you to meet your tyrannous overlords before you're forced to kneel at their bejeweled feet.
Disney Unleashes the Jonas Brothers Upon a Terrified Populace
Why is Disney pushing the Jonas Brothers so hard? Abject terror.
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