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Weird Al Greene

  1. Alvin Greene Is ‘Running’ for Office AgainAs is his wont, he has done no actual campaigning.
  2. Alvin Greene Has Not Given UpHe’s running for a newly vacant House seat in South Carolina.
  3. Alvin Greene Has an Awesome New Campaign StrategyJust repeat something bad you made up about your opponent over and over again.
  4. Alvin Greene’s Fiery Mystery WomanDoes Alvin Greene have a girlfriend?
  5. Alvin Greene Kind of Freaking Out NowHe’s just screaming at reporters.
  6. Can Alvin Greene’s Juggernaut Candidacy Overcome His Felony Indictment?He might be in trouble for that porn incident.
  7. Alvin Greene Was Not Behind Subtly Deprecating Alvin Greene RapAw.
  8. The Air Force Didn’t Promote Alvin Greene Because He Wasn’t Communist EnoughOr: terrorist-y enough. Either one.
  9. Alvin Greene’s First Speech Surprisingly Without IncidentThough, disappointingly, no mention of action figures.
  10. Alvin Greene’s Action-Figure Dream Has Been Realized, Sort OfIt may not be exactly what he was hoping for.
  11. Alvin Greene Wants Denzel Washington to Play Him in MovieThe Senate candidate “has received calls from all over the world.”
  12. Alvin Greene Wants to Stimulate the Economy With Alvin Greene Action FiguresIt’s outside-the-box thinking, all right.
  13. Start Feeling Bad for Picking on Alvin GreeneCruel, yet apt.
  14. Alvin Greene’s Primary Victory UpheldUnlikely winner will take on Jim DeMint.
  15. Alvin Greene Has More Than Zero Percent Support in First PollAlvin Greene gets 21 percent support in his first poll.
  16. This Alvin Greene Voter Is All That Is Wrong With DemocracyShe voted for him because of soul singer Al Green.
  17. The Guy Who Alvin Greene Beat Is Searching for AnswersVic Rawls has experts looking for irregularities.
  18. Keith Olbermann Struggles to Get Answers From Alvin GreeneUnlikely primary winner denies he’s a plant.
  19. Was Alvin Greene a Republican Plant?One South Carolina congressman is calling for the Justice Department to investigate.
  20. How Unemployed Senate Candidate Alvin Greene Picks Up WomenLike a sexual predator!
  21. Unemployed Primary Winner Comes With Some BaggageHe may be facing felony charges for showing some dirty pictures to a college girl.
  22. Unemployed Guy Nobody Has Ever Heard of Wins Democratic Senate PrimaryBest. Election. Upset. Ever.