There must be a moment in every event planner's life when it seems time to simply give up. You try and you try and you try to develop a great gimmick to bring the cool kids to your party — and this week, most often, that gimmick was a surprise, secret, special musical performance. Your gimmick works, and you go to bed thinking, as we're sure the Prada folks did last Friday night — after the amazing Raconteurs show at their Soho store — that your crown for best fête is secure. And then you wake up and discover the Diesel after-party booked James Brown. JAMES BROWN. The Godfather of Soul.
It cannot, in fact, feel good.
Just as impressive was the crowd milling on Gotham Hall's balcony to see the hardest-working man in showbiz: Rosario Dawson, Seann William Scott, Joseph Cross (our favorite dork, from Strangers With Candy and, soon, Running With Scissors), Heather Graham, Ryan Cabrera (looking like his hair had been styled by the Imitation of Christ folks), Christina Milian, Tyson Beckford (in a terrible mohawk), and Kayne from Project Runway. (So much for thinking he'd survived the episode we were TiVoing at home.)
Go-go dancers gyrated on pedestals in the crowd and ripped men in tighty whities did nerve-racking acrobatics on stage. Brown appeared around midnight, wearing a bright-purple suit and a face pulled tight as a French-made bed. He smiled a lot and sang and yelped as well as ever, but, although he still puts on quite a show, we're not sure we ever saw him move his legs, even when, toward the end, he had three hipsterish white girls brought up to dance with him onstage — though only after getting a nod of approval from his wife (No. 4, for those keeping score), who was also in the show.
Meanwhile, a very drunk, completely chiseled Diesel store employee mounted the go-go stand in the crowd, shed his shirt, and danced like a Chippendales pro — as guys and girls started shoving money and their numbers into his pants. (Kids, he works at the Lexington shop if you need another glimpse.) His stamina was unbelievable — he was still going long after Brown had left the stage (escorted off by two young things, as one might expect).
Travis Barker, sans Paris Hilton this time, sadly, was the last celeb to arrive, at 1:22 a.m. He looked around, rather confused, and so we took pity and let him know he'd missed James. "What? I did? Are you kidding? That's the only reason I came!" And with that, he turned around and walked back down the stairs. "You missed out, sucker!" a Diesel staffer shouted after him. Indeed, he did.
— Jada Yuan and Rachel Wolff
Most Viewed Stories
Josh Kushner, Ivanka Trump’s Brother-in-Law, Was Reportedly Spotted at the Women’s March
A Scene from the D.C. Women’s March
Bernie Sanders Wore the Only Appropriate Outfit to Trump’s Inauguration
Pro-Choice and Pro-Life Marchers Came Face-to-Face at the Women’s March
Why the Election of 9 Black Female Judges in Alabama Matters
Taylor Swift Won’t Save Us From Donald Trump
The Greatest Signs From the Women’s March
16 of the Cutest Kids at the Women’s March
Madonna to Women’s March Detractors: ‘F*ck You’
Over 1 Million New York Women Will Have Access to Free Contraception and Abortions
From Our Partners
powered by PubExchange
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCiara's Wedding Dress Was Too Big for the Chapel
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.