The View From the Front Row

All yours, K-Fed! Photo: Photograph by Patrick McMullan

The Gen Art show at the Manhattan Center was our first front-row experience of Fashion Week, and three things immediately sprang to mind as we watched:

1) Wow, we are in the front row — and not to be dorks, but it completely rules!

2) Pre-med majors would do well to sit here for anatomy class; one sheer red Felder Felder dress in particular gave us a clear view of all the model's reproductive organs and their nearby friends.

3) Is that ... that's not Bruce Dern in the second row, is it?

Not that Dern isn't allowed to enjoy fashion. Indeed, full marks to him if he does. But when you're wondering aloud which celebrities you might see at a show celebrating up-and-coming, avant-garde designers, Bruce Dern's mug isn't exactly quick to spring to mind. But, because it's a better story, we decided it was indeed Bill Paxton's cranky polygamist father from HBO's Big Love who spent most of the time hunched and hiding behind his careworn ball cap. Possibly he was hoping nobody would notice him. Game over, Bruce Dern. Game over.

The rest of the front row was all soap opera and reality. Kristin Cavallari, whom we saw earlier today at BCBG, arrived in a fresh outfit. We were going to ask her politely to stop stalking us, but we changed our minds after she was exceedingly gracious about posing for photos with fans after the show. Actresses Bree Wiliamson and Heather Tom from One Life To Live also had prime seats, as did their former colleague Sherri Saum. Tom and Williamson greeted each other like they hadn't chatted in years, and when a particularly skeletal model came down the catwalk in a torso-baring shirt, they swapped concerned and horrified looks. Good on you, ladies. We're pro-carbohydrates as well.

Front-row no-shows included Jay McCarroll, winner of Project Runway's first season, and The Apprentice diva Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth — unless she has recently become a tall, shaggy-haired white man.

Post-show, we desperately wanted to grab the mysterious Bruce Dern to find out his thoughts on the astronaut-chic platform-wedge Fila sneakers presented by Telfar, but alas, Dern left early and missed almost half the presentations. So all that's left is for us to speculate on how long it'll take for Kevin Federline to custom-order a few pairs.

The Fug Girls