Jessica Simpson Could Play for the Jets

For our money, the hottest seat in the house at a Michael Kors show is right next to his fabulously bespectacled mother, Joan. So color us surprised when the blonde who glided in at the last second was not Kors's Project Runway co-host Heidi Klum but instead the increasingly pointless Jessica Simpson. Shouldn't she be at the VMAs, or didn’t she make the guest list?

Simpson looked as she usually does of late: shiny blonde hair, pretty smile, and a depressingly too small dress that stretched awkwardly across her chest, emphasizing linebacker shoulders that might have helped the Jets win their season opener.

We also spied Jane Krakowski, Tracee Ellis Ross, Aerin Lauder, and Tinsley Mortimer. The High Priestess of Socialites headed straight in from Peter Som's show without changing; by contrast, Maria Sharapova made a lightning-fast swap to a navy dress. She sat next to an unusually skinny-looking — even by her standards — Rachel Zoe.

A few famous husbands got Sunday off: Star Jones left her 150 pounds of extra weight at home and yakked away with Jay Manuel and Finola Hughes. And an unflappable Melania Trump, sleek in all black, arrived without The Coif. Melania announced to a reporter that Michael Kors is the only show she'll be attending. Let's hope that loyalty will get her some free shoes, since she's clearly short on cash.

She is not short on composure, however. While everyone totally rocked out as the models stomped the runway, Melania remained cool. We're not sure how she did it, because — glory of glories — the mash-up blended Mika, the Scissor Sisters, and the Xanadu theme song. Yes, you read that right. Our poker faces dropped along with our jaws. Clearly this portends a great day in which we invite Kors, his mother, and Tim Gunn over to watch our DVD copy of the movie while we drink Bellinis and reenact our favorite scenes. —The Fug Girls

Watch a slideshow of the Michael Kors collection.