Amina I don't want to scare you but...Versace is pretty.
Jessica Uh oh. How pretty?
Amina I want to buy some of the coats.
Jessica Ooooh boy. Okay, looking now... leather biker-cum-blazer is something I might kick some serious ass in.
Amina It's demure for Versace. i mean, sure there are some loud pieces but overall, not bad.
Jessica For DV, these are really simple cuts. WHERE ARE MY GOLD CHAINS?
Jessica I WANT GRECO-ROMAN ORGY SCARVES!
Amina Chartreuse is not Stammy's color.
Amina I mean, if SHE can't pull it off, then what about us mere mortals?
Jessica These knits are so...my mom, if my mom were shopping at a sleek, Italian version of Talbots.
Amina No, I love the knits...it's Donatella growing up.
Jessica They're totally subdued, that's what I'm saying. Like my mom. When she takes her meds.
Jessica Alright, these coats are uniformly excellent.
Amina And I liked that she has the old guard here (well older guard): Daria, Carmen, Mariacarla.
Amina But Coco's doing this weird horror movie walk thing like she's the girl from The Ring.
Amina It's seriously freaking me out.
Jessica She's doing The Kloss!
Amina Nono, Kloss is more zombie.
Amina Coco is more I'm-going-to-kill-you.
Jessica #54: "Hand me my Oscar, please?"
Amina It IS gorgeous, but I wonder if it'd wash a lot of people out? That color can't be easy to wear.
Amina I wonder if Angelina is gonna wear #51 — the Agnyess look. It's shiny, black, and goes well with baby bumps.
Jessica This whole collection is unexpected. So Donatella 2.0. (3.0? 7.0?) She's, like...chill? What gives? Did the New Yorker profile DO something to her? She's, like, assumed the position or something. But it's totally working.
View a slideshow of the Versace collection.