Tyra Banks's latest reality venture, Fashionista, in which contestants compete to become the next top fashion assistant (oh, the glory of it all!), is currently casting — we submitted our application and have yet to be called upon, sniff, but we hear producers are plucking potential cast members right off New York streets. Yes, one glorious day you could be shopping and — if you look young and cute enough — asked to audition! Fashionista.com intern Jazzi McGilbert was one of the lucky ones approached in such a fashion (zing!), and like any devoted intern, she went to the casting. She reports:
[W]hen I arrived at the casting, one for fashionistas handpicked by the CW's casting crew, I was confronted with about 100 girls (and about twenty boys) who could have stepped out of a ShopBop catalog. I got the sense that these were hopeful kids who had never actually worked in the industry, but were cute enough for primetime TV (In fact, it should be noted that when I was approached, although I was assured that it would be more Apprentice than ANTM, I was never asked about any actual experience.)
There was a blue screen, lights, and a camera set up in the middle of a converted hotel banquet room where CW staffers demanded, "Show me your personality! Show us crazy!"
So that's how those television geniuses do it! Part of the audition process is to answer a 21-page questionnaire. Now, it's likely none of us will ever make it on the show or to a casting, partly because we don't have the attention span to fill out a 21-page survey and partly because we're too old anyway. But because it's Fun Friday and girls can dream, we decided to tackle a few questions from the application. Feel free to use our answers; we're willing to bet any cute, young thing who does so will be on prime time in no time.
What character in the move The Devil Wears Prada do you most relate to and why?
That would have to be Serena. Remember her? Played by Gisele Bündchen? Like Serena, we're tall, thin, gorgeous, and only show up when it's time to go to lunch — at which we will not consume any carbs or fat.
What have you done to prepare yourself for a future as a fashionista/o?
We have not missed an episode of America's Next Top Model, Project Runway, The Tyra Banks Show, or Make Me a Supermodel. We have also seen the Marc Jacobs and Karl Lagerfield documentaries. So not only do we know everything, we also really need to get out of our apartment.
What celebrity do you hate? Why?
We'll go with Nicole Kidman because of her behavior in the Lagerfeld documentary: What, she thinks she's all hot because she's flawless and pale but not in an ugly way? And she clearly thought she was extra special because she and Lagerfeld were at a party together, but they simply had to steal away for a moment to some undisclosed locations so that the Kaiser might photograph her right then and there, because she was so darn porcelain perfect. Yawn.
What do you think is the hardest part of being an assistant?
The hardest part of being an assistant is taking orders from people, particularly when it involves getting people calorie-rich crap from Starbucks. Such a waste, such a shame.
How do you act when you get drunk?
We take our shoes off and refuse to go anywhere unless someone gives us a piggyback ride. Also, we cry a lot. Like, a lot.
When was the last time you hit, punched, kicked, or threw something in anger? Please provide details.
Easy! We were ten minutes late to our 2 p.m. Pilates class, and when the instructor said it was too late to join, we whacked our mat against the door frame, stomped away, and slammed the door on the way out.
Do you have a temper?
Only when that skinny bitch doesn't let us into Pilates.
What would irritate you about living with nine to eleven other people?
We consider ourselves people people, but we really hate it when roommates get mad at us for coming home drunk and crying late at night. And it'd probably bug us if the roomies got out of bed to calm us down but got offended when we gave them "constructive criticism" for their personality disorders. Also, if we want to get tipsy and hook up in the hot tub on the day we move in to our new pad, that's our prerogative, too.
My Foray into Tyra World [Fashionista]
Related: Coming Soon: ‘America's Next Top Assistant Editor’! [Daily Intel]