Big news: Paris Hilton has found a magazine willing to run a photo spread of her. She appears in this month's 944 wearing very skimpy, very tacky outfits, if you can even call them "outfits." Apparently Hilton has "shak[en] the party girl image," which the photos clearly indicate. In a Q&A with the magazine, she explains everyone has her all wrong:
"[P]eople don't know the real me, and I'm a very hard worker. I travel around the world constantly promoting my projects and endorsing products. Yes, I do get paid to go to parties; in fact, I'm the person who started the whole trend of paid appearances. But when you see me at a party, I'm always working or promoting something, even if it's as simple as wearing my clothing line for the pictures."
Or, let's say, drinking or pretending to eat (we've seen it, y'all!). But if Hilton is so good at promotion, why isn't she wearing more of the clothes she designed in the shoot instead of H&M underwear? No, we think she's got things all wrong. Since this story proves she's not ever going to go away, we've provided a bit of advice for Paris's upcoming projects after the jump so she can become less of a walking contradiction and make it easier for us all to bear her.
944: Will you be starring in another reality show?
Hilton: I'm developing another one right now! But I'm also looking for shows to produce. I've been in front of the camera for so many years, so I think it would be interesting to be on the other side for a change, making creative decisions and putting a show together.
We suggest: Darling, you were born for the screen! We'd love to see Paris Hilton Fear Factor, where Paris does all the things Fear Factor contestants do, like eat cow patties while maggots crawl all over their faces. We wouldn't miss that.
944: Speaking of being creative, aren't you launching your clothing line this year?
Hilton: I actually have two: one international line and one for the U.S. and Canada. It's currently being sold across the nation in Macy's stores and Nordstrom, also Fred Segal, Kitson and a few others, I think. I'm also launching a shoe line this month on the same day my first movie comes out. That's my problem — sometimes I have to be in two places at once.
We suggest: Sending a blow-up doll in your place. It will get just as much press, probably more.
944: How much of your work is done in foreign markets?
Hilton: The Rich Prosecco beverage hasn't even come to America yet, but it will be coming this year. We've already sold over 10 million cans in Europe.
We suggest: Not signing up to market any more alcoholic beverages, especially if you're going to appear in their ads clad entirely in sequins.
944: How many products are you currently endorsing?
Hilton: Let's see. I have Dream Catchers, which are my hair extensions, a high-end beverage called Rich Prosecco, my new fragrance Can Can, my dog apparel line with Little Lily and a jewelry line with Damiani. And I'm the face of FILA Sportswear for the Korean market.
We suggest: Staying overseas! If Europeans and Koreans like you so much, stay there. You even have a language barrier to justify acting like a ninny.
Most Viewed Stories
The President of the United States Had a Big Day of Playing With Trucks
GOP Senator Apologizes After Mocking Breast-Cancer Screening Coverage
Former Thinx Employee Accuses Miki Agrawal of Sexual Harassment
Report: Donald and Melania Trump Don’t Sleep in the Same Bed
52 Percent of Men Say They Haven’t Personally Benefited From Women Having Access to Birth Control
Cate Blanchett on the Judgment of Women, Face Mists, and How She’s Moisturized for Over a Decade
Amy Schumer’s Boyfriend Ben Hanisch Has a Trick for Shooing Away Unwanted Photographers
The Girls Pregnancy Plotline Says More About Us Than It Does About Hannah Horvath
Am I Cheap If I Hate Splitting the Check Equally?
Kate Middleton Opens Up About Her Struggles With Motherhood
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCiara's Wedding Dress Was Too Big for the Chapel
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.