Carla Bruni the No-show; Coutourier Designs for McDonald's

She totally would've showed if it were a Dior fund-raiser Photo: Getty Images

• Carla Bruni didn't show up to a Tommy Hilfiger fund-raiser in Paris, where a tote bag she signed sold for $16,000. We presume the French people wept in their apple tarts. [WWD]

• Coutourier Bruce Oldfield redesigned the McDonald's uniforms for U.K. employees. Some say the monogram pattern on the new shirts look like a Louis Vuitton knockoff. [Telegraph]

• Less than seven months after Calypso was sold, founder and CEO Christiane Celle resigned. She couldn't deal with the new management. [WWD]

• Bally, the leather brand, has been sold. Management will remain intact. Brow: wiped. [British Vogue]

• The auction of Ralph Esmerian's jewelry collection was stopped at Christie's, but the Louvre still got a piece of it. The museum bought a brooch valued at $4 to $6 million, worn by Napoleon III's bride, Empress Eugénie, on her wedding day in 1853. No word on the price tag. [WWD]

• Kanye West is performing at another fashion party. This time he's celebrating the 25th anniversary of a Casio watch. We get that he's a dense person, but will someone please tell him he really doesn't need to perform at every fashion party on the planet? [WWD]

• Vivienne Westwood received an honorary Doctor of Letters degree from a Scottish university yesterday. "Doctor of Letters seems a little strange," she said. "But I have always been a reader, so I accept it on that basis." She's right — this story is totally random. [British Vogue]

• Threatening phone calls and letters are being directed at socialite Jemima Khan for her support of a Muslim organization that promotes religious tolerance. Apparently, people are still upset about the time she kissed Kate Moss in 2006 to raise $120,000 for a Palestinian children's charity. [British Vogue]

• Why was that Tom Ford ad banned in Italy last week, if these other racy ads depicting bare ass are okay? [Trendinista]

• Patrick Dempsey on filming Made of Honor: "I wore a kilt for the wedding scenes, but had to wear something underneath. I tried with nothing, but I was bitten all over by midges." As this paper says, some flies have all the luck. [Mirror]

• Elizabeth Hurley attended a promotional event in Madrid for her new Mango bikini collection, but didn't wear a bikini like the other models there. Blasphemy! [Daily Mail]

• Skinny bitch Victoria Beckham gets ice cream for her sons, but won't eat any of it herself. [Daily Mail]