Marc Jacobs Stars in a Gratuitous Magazine Spread

Jacobs's SpongeBob affinity is so quirky. He's even bold enough to tattoo him on his arm. How silly! But how would we know silly if we didn't know its antithesis to the right: Serious. Oh, juxtapositions… Photo: nytimes.com

Marc Jacobs has been hovering near the overexposed danger zone for some time. Thanks to the spread T:Style devoted to him and French actress Elodie Bouchez clad almost entirely in stuff designed by him, he's finally crossed over. Why did the magazine devote six whole pages to this? Because Jacobs is overexposed but "everyone seems to neglect his work at Louis Vuitton and for his own label." Really? We were pretty sure no one's been able to stop talking about it and magazines have been continuously saturated with it, but hey, it's not like we read this stuff all day or anything. As for Bouchez, the magazine chose her because (a) she's the kind of person who can appreciate the way Jacobs's spring collection embodies "a new kind of sexiness with purposely disheveled, lingerie-inspired looks," (b) she's pregnant, which gives the spread that edgy je ne sais quois, and (c) Jacobs knows her because she's dating Thomas Bangalter of Daft Punk, who did the music for his spring Louis Vuitton show. All that said, the spread doesn't seem gratuitous at all, does it? Have a look-see and decide for yourself:

In case anyone doubted they're real BFFs.Photo: nytimes.com

Jacobs can pull down her skirt and stick his face in her boobs because he's gay. If we were swathed in MJ stuff all day, we'd probably look like she does on the right, too.Photo: nytimes.com

A wedding veil, a robe, and a cartoon? How artistically zany!Photo: nytimes.com

They're so close they practice kissing together. Or do they? The intrigue deepens.Photo: nytimes.com

It's almost sexual now.Photo: nytimes.com

On the left, their expressions say, "Yeah, so what. We fondle each other and one of us is gay." On the right, it looks like she's finally gotten uncomfortable. Honey, we've all been there: What girl doesn't have a gay friend who thinks that because they're gay it's okay to get to frisky with body rubbing and stuff? Feel free to put that stiletto down. Or whack him in the face with that handbag. Whatever he responds to. Photo: nytimes.com