Carla Bruni: ‘My Guy, I Roll Him Up and Smoke Him’

You never thought of Sarko this way, did you? Photo: Photo-illustration: Getty Images, iStockphoto

French newspaper Le Figaro got a sneak preview of their First Lady Carla Bruni's new album, Comme si de rien n'était, a.k.a As If Nothing Happened, dropping July 21. And boy, is it a doozy. One song called "My Junk" is dedicated to her husband, the president of France, Nicolas Sarkozy. Here's a sampling of those lyrics:

"You are my junk. More deadly than Afghan heroin. More dangerous than Colombian white (powder) … My guy, I roll him up and smoke him."


We're going to give you a minute to let that sink in.

The rest of the album doesn't disappoint with the Sarko undercurrents. The first single is called "L'Amoureuse," a.k.a. "Woman in Love," but no one can say for sure if this refers to Sarko or not (just assume it does and be entertained). Cover ballad "You Belong to Me," on the other hand, is clearly about Sarko since it references places Bruni and her hubby have visited, like the pyramids.

This album is obviously going to do way better than her last, which only sold a pitiful 80,000 copies worldwide. French critics from Le Figaro are already raving over it. The Telegraph reports:

In a flattering review, Le Figaro — which dubbed the album "the most awaited recording in France for decades" — said the new work successfully merged the "magic" of her first songs with the "artistic integrity" of the less accessible second album. She has toned down the folk style in favour of the "chanson française" and the "flamboyant sixties," it wrote. "In a word, it's less America, more France, more Beatles."


You gotta love how much France loves itself sometimes.

Carla Bruni-Sarkozy sings of her 30 lovers and why Nicolas is like Class A drugs [Telegraph]