This week Fergie unveiled her new shoe line at the World Shoe Accessories trade show in Las Vegas. She collaborated with Brown Shoe on the kicks for a spring 2009 commercial launch. The line consists of two divisions: One, called "Fergie," showcases the singer's confident "glam rock" side, and the other, called "Fergalicious by Fergie," is meant to look trendier, sportier, and more "pop rock," according to a rep for the line. So the difference between the two is already hazy, which doesn't sound like a great way to kick (har) things off. Considering the misfortune of Victoria Beckham's denim line and Lauren Conrad's clothing line, we wondered if Fergie's line was already on the fast track to the "Buy one, get one free" bin. So we decided to scientifically calculate Fergie and Fergalicious by Fergie's potential for success by weighing the singer's efforts with the line thus far against Kitson owner Fraser Ross's list of celebrity clothing line dos and don'ts.
1. Do remember that not everyone's a size 2 like you.
PASS. We're talking about shoes here, so sizing is a non-issue.
2. Don't think your clothing line will fly off the shelves just because you're a celebrity.
FAIL. Since the launch is so far away, the Brown Shoe reps couldn't confirm where the shoes would be sold, how much they'll cost, or if Fergie will shill them at in-store appearances (if there are any). It's either highly secretive until early 2009 or the shelf life of these puppies is so dismal they might not even have one. And at first glance these look Jessica Simpson–esque. We think mall shoppers across America will agree one line like that is plenty.
3. Do make multiple personal appearances at retail stores that support your brand. After all, you're shopping all day anyway.
PASS. She hasn't had the opportunity to appear at retail outlets since they're not in stores yet, but she's off to a good start appearing in front of buyers at a trade show.
4. Don't believe everything your publicist says. They are paid to agree with you.
FAIL. We're not sure if Fergie decided to divide the line into two indistinct divisions, but someone should've told her they look the damn same. Shame on her for making things unnecessarily confusing to consumers.
5. Do walk to the nearest coffee shop carrying a sketchbook after alerting the paparazzi. After all, it never hurts to look like you're doing work.
FAIL. A Brown Shoe rep tells us that Fergie has collaborated with their people every step of the way. We've yet to see visual proof of that.
6. Don't take yourself too seriously. You're not Coco Chanel.
FAIL. If she's launching the line to begin with, she's taking herself too seriously. After all, she's already done handbags so venturing into shoes suggests she, on some level, believes the world's thirst for her wares remains unquenched.
7. Do wear your own designs more than once a year.
FAIL. How often do we see Fergie carry pieces from her Fergie for Kipling handbag collection? Not often at all. And as Asos.com reported from Vegas yesterday: "After arriving in a crisp white shift dress, white oversized sunglasses and a pair of beige Mary-Janes, the Fergalicious one quickly changed into a pair of tan strappy sandals from her range." Bad form.
Results: 5 FAIL, 3 PASS. So, Fergalicious Fergster, you've got time to turn those FAILs into PASSes and make this line a smashing success. We also urge you to reconsider the name "Fergalicious." America's not into the whole "licious" thing these days. —Sharon Clott
Put Yourself In Fergie's Shoes - Literally [Asos Today]
Most Viewed Stories
I Worked at Fyre Festival. It Was Always Going to Be a Disaster.
This Fyre Festival Apology Is As Extra As You’d Expect
Famous Guests Were Reportedly Warned Not to Go to Fyre Festival in Advance
Life Lessons From the Great Fyre Festival Disaster
Bella Hadid Addresses Fyre Festival Fallout
Why Wallflowers Don’t Make Friends
The Kardashians Just Broke Up With the Stylist They’ve Been Using for a Decade
These Tweets Will Make You Very Glad That You Didn’t Spend Thousands of Dollars to Get Stranded in the Bahamas
Why Millennial Pink Refuses to Go Away
Why Everyone Loves the Alpha Girl
The Cut’s Latest Fashion FeaturesCiara's Wedding Dress Was Too Big for the Chapel
To be fair, it was a 13 foot-long dress.You and Rihanna Will Both Want to Invest in Dior’s New Bag
It's got something for everyone.Polo Shirts Have Turned Their Back on Ryan Lochte
Along with his other major sponsors.Ryan Lochte Will No Longer Be Paid to Wear Tiny Bathing Suits
Speedo remains committed to transparency.Laura Brown Is the New Editor-in-Chief of InStyle
After 11 years at Harper’s Bazaar.Tyra Banks Is Going to Teach a Class on Smizing at Stanford
"If I see somebody not paying attention, I’m gonna call on them."This Floating Pier Is the Most Zen Installation Ever
Walking on water in Italy.Nation Is Appalled by Matt Lauer’s Nude Ankles During Ryan Lochte Interview
What’s the opposite of “Jeah”?8 People at the Life of Pablo Pop-up Explain Why Kanye West Is a God
"I mean, Kanye West is just Kanye West. There's not more or less you can say about Kanye West. He's just Mr. West!"A T-shirt Is Enough
Simplicity, versatility, and cool. What more could you want?
She took a perfect pencil dive off a 30-foot yacht.American Apparel Is Being Sued by Former Workers
As the company considers putting itself up for sale.A Gendered History of the Tailored Suit
From Marlon Brando to Coco Chanel.How Zendaya Developed Such Great Style at the Young Age of 19
The star's best looks from Disney to now.Proof That If You’re Chic Enough, a Little Federal Investigation Doesn’t Matter
Is this the best they could do?5,300-Year-Old Mummified Iceman Probably Would’ve Been a Street-Style Star
He had several different looks and was “pretty picky.”J.Crew Has Identified 226 Shades of Pink
Even more than there are shades of gray.Gigi and Bella Hadid Merch Is Now Somehow a Thing That Is Happening
Today in Hadidiana.Gird Your Loins for the Return of Yeezy to New York Fashion Week
The season approaches.This Indie Brand Had a Great Response to Ivanka Trump
When she bought one of their cuffs, they donated the proceeds to the Clinton campaign.