All that free Champagne and Chambord at Fashion Week finally caught up to us last night, so we skipped the parties to watch a very different kind of fashion parade on the tube: the Video Music Awards. We're glad we stayed in because seeing Britney not only functioning in society (if you can call the VMAs that) but looking so well and radiant warmed our hearts. However we felt peeved that the celebrities we were hoping to see on our front rows were all the way over in La La Land. At least now that the awards are over, they can come to New York where they ought to be (ahem, Michael Phelps and Rihanna). Just to give you a little West Coast flavor with your giant New York Fashion Week entrée, we've composed a fashion yearbook of the glittery West Coast spectacle, including Rihanna, Michael Phelps, Christina Aguilera, and more! First up: Britney Spears.
Britney looked wonderful, didn't she? And hardly like she's aged, which -- after all she's been through -- is quite a feat. Quick --someone at Allure call her and get that under-eye trick that works! Also, love what this tastefully cut silver dress does for her figure.
Rihanna, Part I: The Front
Props to Rihanna for sporting fall's must-have tights by Rodarte. We supposed she's also on trend with the feathers. But why the blonde skunk streak? Why the metal car-wash fringe hanging from her bodysuit? She looks like a car seat put through a paper shredder. We were scared by this shot, but then we saw the back...
Rihanna, Part II: The Back
And hello! Is that a massive wad of toilet paper hanging out of her panties there? Maybe she wants to protect her tights from spilled drinks? Or maybe, as when toilet paper affixes to the shoe, no one bothered to tell her she had a little something something stuck to her rear.
Rihanna, Part III: The Sternum
Here is Rihanna's (thankfully) more subdued other performance outfit. We thought it was all fine and well until we realized she was wearing a cropped leather jacket unzipped with no bra, which pretty much immobilized her torso and arms. God forbid she zip it -- that would just look stupid.
LiLo certainly dashed out to L.A. fast after the paparazzi frenzy she endured at the Charlotte Ronson show. This purple satin dress is a tasteful choice but perhaps ill-fitting, bunching all over the place as it does.
Michael Phelps and Ciara
No one told Michael Phelps no one wears sunglasses like that anymore. And since when did Ciara start looking so grown-up? The two would make a darling unexpected couple. Maybe he has his phone out because he got her digits?
Paris Hilton's dress is too cutesy, too poofy -- though, for her, a tasteful choice. FYI, Paris: You can stop wearing prom clothes after prom.
Pink or circus tent? You decide.
We love Demi Moore, but we would have preferred to see her with open-toed shoes and a chic necklace instead of that cutesy bow. This feels vaguely Amish.
Chace Crawford and Lauren Conrad
Anyone else notice that Chace Crawford looked a little wan and unhappy when he presented the Best New Artist award with Lauren Conrad last night? Come back to Fashion Week, Chace! L.A.'s not doing you any favors, hot as you always are. And we found this neckline on Lauren Conrad distracting. Her straps needed a tug.
Take those heels down a notch and Miley Cyrus would look entirely age-appropriate!
Please tell Christina to come back. Trying to be Madonna and Britney Spears at once isn't working. And please tell her to get her backup dancers some proper pants.
"Camel toe" should not be the first two words that come to mind when looking at a celebrity's red-carpet photo, whether they have one or not.
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