Michael Phelps Wants to Go to Fashion Week

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When we heard Michael Phelps was headlining Bowlmor Lanes bowling alley’s 70th anniversary last night, we were there faster than you could say "world record." We just wanted to maybe touch his body a bit as we took our new Facebook picture with him. Was that so much to ask? Apparently it was, since every other woman in this city and quite a few gay men wanted to touch Michael’s body too. As cameras started flashing on the red carpet, a crush of girls thrust toward the action. “Oh my God — is that Michael Phelps?!” one trilled. "Get on your knees, bitch!" her friend replied.

We pushed through a gaggle of reporters from teen magazines and managed to snag an interview (regrettably hands-free). Michael explained his new goatee was a product of laziness. “I cleaned it up a little bit. But I just didn’t feel like [shaving] all of it,” he said. With security guards literally holding back a throng of ladies behind us, we asked if any overzealous fans had ever, say, thrown a bra in his face. “I had the funniest time at the welcome-home parade. There was this girl who had a sign up that said, 'I’m legal in four years.' I thought that was pretty original.” Clearly he didn't hear the "on your knees" girl. But sadly for her, Michael added he’s not dating anyone right now and won’t until the time is right. “You guys know everything else so I got to keep something to myself,” he said.

On to more fashionable topics, we asked if Phelps got invited to Fashion Week. “I have no idea if I did or not. I’m not sure where I was at that point, but I was traveling and I was super busy.” But if the designers in Paris had invited him to the shows, he so would have gone! “I’ll go anywhere. I’ll go enjoy myself. Come on — it’s fun going to those things,” he said. Michael’s favorite designers include Lacoste (whose hat he wore), Diesel, and Giorgio Armani. He hasn’t met Mr. Armani “yet,” he says, but the man did send him a shirt to wear for last night’s festivities. Hint hint, nudge nudge, Giorgio. David Beckham can’t hold down those Armani billboards forever! No time like the present to brew up a new campaign.