STOP THE WORLD — Peaches Geldof's first column for Nylon is out. The Guardian has a brilliant review of her work, but before you can fully appreciate that, you must have a taste of the Awesomeness of Peaches, formerly illustrated by her clothes and disaffected attitude and now by her very own writing skills:
The sun glows a burned orange as it sinks behind a skyscraper, a car horn screeches irritably, the wind whistles through the acres of willows in Central Park: New York, the most offbeat and eccentric city in America, is my new home.
How unfortunate — in our neighborhood, our car horns screech in a non-irritating manner. Another spoonful:
I traveled across America in a cramped, packed U-Haul and experienced parts of the U.S. not many people see unless they go off the beaten path. The days passed by in a haze of truck stops, fast food restaurants, and palm trees … In Indiana I joined some locals in a chewing tobacco competition. My Jack Kerouac adventure led me to New York, where I fell in love with the place all over again.
Yes, Peaches Geldof IS Jack Kerouac. How do the Brits at the Guardian feel about this?
Nylon magazine, whose target market is evidently every jaded, self-regarding New York hipster who thinks they're part of a movement, as opposed to the sort of people with whom you could only bear to have a conversation if speedballs were provided. Apparently Nylon has a really big Klonopin culture — something that may not come as the most awful shock were you to wade into its editorial content at any length — and Peaches is at the age where she thinks it's totally edgy to tell people this stuff.
Oh no they didn't. But they so did! Because then they wrote this about the magazine Peaches is putting together (her talent range is immeasurable!) which is called Disappear Here, after a leitmotif in the Bret Easton Ellis novel Less Than Zero:
[K]now this, Peaches: Less Than Zero does not "explain you". It is the work of a genuinely prodigious talent and is a satire of people just like you, and your magazine, and all the vast, vast apathy which permits your laughably undeserved rise to the level of teen visionary.
Laughable, "undeserved" rise? On behalf of Peaches, we would like to note that she has worked really, really hard picking out plaid shirts to wear and probably equally so on perfecting her sideways-chin-down pose.