Karl Lagerfeld Talks Family Planning in the Olsen Twins’ Amazing New Book

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Readers, we just got a copy of the Olsen twins' new book, Influence. And it's fantastic. We're not even being sarcastic. We haven't felt this way about a book since the one all about the costumes in the Sex and the City movie landed on our desk. Influence consists only of interviews conducted by the Olsens (with editor Derek Blasberg in tow) with the world's most famous designers, photographers, artists, and tastemakers alongside pictures of them, their work, and the Olsens. We're talking long, involved, revealing interviews that are, you know, entertaining. With people like John Galliano, Christian Louboutin, Terry Richardson, Richard Prince, and more. Yes, a coffee-table book that's more than worth a read! Here are a few gems from one of our favorite interviews, with Karl Lagerfeld.

Where we see cupcakes, Karl sees plastic.

AO: What do you do now to stay in shape?
KL: Nothing … I have a doctor who I made a book with that sold five million copies all over the world. Every country bought one, I think, in Russia and Italy and everywhere. But I don't get it — I don't know what Japan is going to do with a European diet book … Since I started my diet, which was like eight years ago, I haven't touched what I'm not supposed to: sugar, cheese, nothing! I don't even look at it. It looks to me like plastic.

He hates tall, chatty models.

KL: [N]owadays you start to model because you're young. Now the girls are sixteen, seventeen, fifteen, and Russian. They are like from another planet
AO: They can look very bizarre!
KL: I hate all these tall women. They are all giants!
MKO: If only I were a little taller — that would make me happy!
KL: You are one meter fifty-one. You are taller than that?
AO: We're five feet and one inch.
KL: Oh, I thought my office told me that you were four-foot eight or something. Not that it matters. What you need is a face. If you have a face you don't need height or a voice. Models know this; that's why the good ones don't need to talk much.

And he hates working with male models.

KL: I like to work with models for a long time. Sometimes the girls change, but some girls I work with for years and years. With male models it is different. I hate working with male models.
AO: Ah, well boys come and go!
KL: And I hate doing castings and things like this. "oh no you're not right" — that's horrible to say to someone. I never do castings. Other people do them, and then I see the result of the casting. It's humiliating for the models.

Nor does he like to hear a man's opinion.

KL: I don't have people I don't like around me ever.
MKO: You don't have to.
KL: …I don't work with many men. I don't want to ask the men about the fashion. Their opinion doesn't interest me.

He gives the girls family-planning advice!

KL: I like more classic [shapes] now. Best thing to do for skinny people to wear tight dresses. Although jeans are becoming too tight.
AO: Ah! Yes, it's becoming a problem. It's the worst.
KL: You can kill yourself in these jeans.
MKO: Ha, I'd rather stay inside with my friends than limp out in tight trousers.
KL: Maybe you'll stay inside with a baby. Do you want to get married? Children? Two perfect mums, yes?
[Mary-Kate and Ashley look at each other]
KL: Ah! Don't worry, you have time. You're young. Don't you want to get married?
MKO: I don't feel the need to get married. But Ashley wants children. I'll be a great aunt or godmother.
AO: To my child.
KL: [To Ashley] Are you planning?
AO: No. I don't even have a boyfriend. You have to plan that first, right? Figure that out first?
KL: If you get a boyfriend it doesn't mean that! Today you can have a baby first. If you want. I never liked the idea of a family at all. If it's a woman — it's more fun for a woman.

Karl sheds light on why he's the face of that road-safety ad in France.

MKO: It can be dangerous when you're driving [in L.A.] particularly, because they follow you in cars and scooters. That's bad. That's not easy.
KL: I had two accidents where I fell asleep — after that I thought it was better that I don't drive. I'll get a driver. I'm a bad driver because I want to look there, there, and up there. I get bored easily — so twice I fall asleep and twice the car is destroyed … I had nothing [wrong] with me — but both cars were destroyed.