Castings for the next season of America's Next Top Model begin tomorrow in Miami. But if you're five foot ten like most top models, don't bother showing up, because Tyra Banks is only casting girls five seven and under for the thirteenth season. The casting director explains:
"Since the show started, we've always had girls under 5'7" asking and begging, quite frankly, Tyra to please give them a chance," she says. "I mean, she would get stopped in the street, in restaurants, anywhere, by girls asking how they can do it being as short as they are. We've been thinking about it for a while now, what a great opportunity to give these girls that opportunity. The show is all about opportunity ... Kate Moss is a prime example," she says. "Tyra knows a stream of supermodels that are under that size and are very successful, so she said, 'Why not?' It's gonna be all about the face and the package as a whole."
Yeah, okay lady. We think at this point — now that the show has churned out twelve "winners," the only thing on which they're probably on top is a pile of unpaid bills, as far as we can tell — the production team ought to be able to acknowledge that the show does not serve its original intended purpose. Wait, we take it back — it has opened up many television time slots for Tyra Banks to present the world with her bizarre (read: embarrassing) version of female empowerment, but we digress.
Could casting only short girls be a final admittance, whether the production team realizes it or not, that the show is not about creating "top models" but simply entertainment? Because, aside from Kate Moss we can only think of one model off the top of our head under five foot seven who has made it to this theoretical "top": Devon Aoki. Basically, the likelihood of a "short" model making it to the top is about as likely as America's Next Top Model producing a winner who actually becomes a top model. In any case, we genuinely look forward to a thirteenth season of Tyra telling the girls how to elongate their necks and being her usual spazzy self.