Spanx Is Working on Clothing and We Are Scared

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Photo: Courtesy of Spanx

For the past two years, a top-secret project has been in the works at the Spanx factory: Spanx clothing. Spanx founder Sara Blakely told Glamour's Slaves to Fashion blog that "certain articles of clothing" are in the works right now. She's not sure when this new secret stuff will hit the market, since the Spanx factory doesn't like to launch things until they're perfect. But Blakely is most certainly intent on expanding her modern girdle empire — she just launched a line of underthings called Haute Contour, which Slaves to Fashion describes as "a sexier, sultrier Spanx that you won't be afraid to let your boyfriend see you in." Except wouldn't you be afraid to let him try to take them off, if they're as tight as regular Spanx? (His nails better be really short.)

As wonderful as Spanx is — smoothing and sucking in your fat in all the right places, eliminating panty lines beneath satin dresses — we don't want to see the clothing form of them. We get that no matter how skinny you are, you're never skinny enough, and this idea sounds appealing at the outset. But we're afraid they'll just come out with a slew of super-skintight push-up tube dresses. And considering they make something called Power Panties, which have a strategic slit in the crotch so girls don't have to wriggle out of their Spanx when nature calls, we're afraid to find out how the new garments will be engineered.

News That Sucks (And Shapes, And Smooths): Spanx Has An Expanded Clothing Line In The Works! [Slaves to Fashion/Glamour]