Many dresses at the BET Awards last night were painfully short, as though the ladies were allergic to clothes that would comfortably conceal their lower halves without making onlookers nervous every time the wind blew or they sat down or walked up a step. Beyoncé, Cassidy, Melody Thornton, and Teairra Mari all appeared to be victims of this affliction. Pants made only a feeble showing. Tyra Banks scrounged up a satin pair while Monica wore leather leggings. See all those looks and more in the slideshow.
We're kind of dying to rip the pirate sleeves off, but overall Alicia looks lovely. Nice color on her.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta
Surprisingly, the collective apparel of this cast of characters only came out this shiny.
But Beyonce sure made up for it! That's a spring 2009 Balmain frock, misguidedly paired with giant green hoop earrings. She should have saved those shoes for salsa night and a House of Dereon number.
We've seen that Mark Fast dress before! Her half-shaven head still does nothing for us. Well, nothing positive.
It's vampire-y, but it's also Chaka, so she's excused.
Something about the texture of leather ruching just looks off. Like someone should put her on a pottery wheel and smooth it out.
Nothing about this dress works -- the mullet hemline, the grape-juice dip-dye, the floral pattern made worse by tiny holes in the fabric, the random tinfoil flaps on the straps, the color of the straps, the flowers between her boobs, the sequin detail that doesn't coordinate with anything on her person. That about covers it.
An Olsen is the last person we'd expect to see at the BET Awards. But she might have made D.J. "Fire Ankles" Paul the best dressed of the night.
Oh that flap. Is she trying to get on bump watch?
"My pants are this long just to bother you. Drink it in, Thom Browne. Drink it in."
Amber Rose and Kanye West
There is only one way to explain the miserable look on Kanye's face and the absence of Louis Vuitton sneakers from his ensemble: They just had a fight and she threw them out the window on the way back from the Hamptons.
We'd prefer it if her hairpiece blended a little more seamlessly into her head, and we do loath giant waist belts. But she gets creativity points for the gloves.
No, it is not fair for her to do this to something by Alexander McQueen.
And More Melody Thornton! (Than You Ever Needed to See!)
AHHHH. Nude nylon is not a substitute for PANTS, lady!
Ooh! The increasingly elusive pant! On the even more elusive Monica.
He wore this jacket so that ... his date could spot him at all times from afar? It does make a nice substitute for a light-bounce board.
Taraji P. Henson
Chic, simple, elegant. She looks perfect.
Another victim of pants allergy. What was her plan if a gust of wind came along, hmmm? She sure ain't wearing panty hose.
Jesus Satin Christ. Maybe this is her way of trying to make us think she went to a business meeting before the awards.
The corset-gingham combo looks like a picnic basket that ate the tablecloth and then spit it back up.
So square. Yet eye-catching.
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