Making Infants Model Is, Sadly, Some Parents’ Solution to the Recession

By
Photo: iStockphoto

An increasing number of parents are trying to get their babies into the modeling business in the U.K. You know, that savory industry that makes everyone feel good about themselves, always. Baby-modeling agents, which are essentially baby dealers, posit that parents might be doing this to earn extra money in the recession, which is perhaps the tackiest way to solve budget woes ever. Babies don't sit still, even for very important baby photographers, and those impatient folk won't stand for it on shoots.

Some photographers find novel ways round the sitting-still problem. I know one who worked on a well-known television ad that depicted 100 babies, all rooted to the spot. How did the director achieve this marvel? Simple: by gluing the seat of each baby’s nappy to the studio floor while their mothers were detained in another room.


Oh, what a jolly solution to a dwindling bank account! Hand your child over to strangers and let them glue their butts to the floor.

Once I asked an art director if she wanted me to brush Ava’s hair. She replied: “No, she’s modeling nightwear. We want her to have a relaxed, tousled look.”


Everyone knows "tousled" really means "sexy." And if the babies don't get out of the biz before they understand everything going on around them, it's all downhill:

I attended one shoot involving child models, at which a pair of heavily made-up five-year-olds were sitting in a waiting room discussing work: “Did you go for the Tesco job?” “Uh-huh. I got a recall but Jemima got it in the end.” “Oh yes, Jemima’s got a very strong look.”


We can hardly wait for this generation to grow up.

Britain’s tot models [Times UK]