This month's magazines offer a glimpse of the fall 2009 collections. Already, thigh-high boots are everywhere — even on men, in Dazed & Confused. Statement shoes don't stop there: Lady Amanda Harlech wears Nina Ricci's iconic heel-less platforms in British Vogue, while Marion Cotillard wears a pair of John Galliano's scariest heels in In Style. Model Anna Selezneva stuns in Chinese Vogue. Ed Westwick looks more dashing than ever in GQ, and Cameron Diaz is unrecognizable in a cone bra in V. See those images and more in the slideshow.
Best Editorial - Numero
The model is fantastic, the clothes are completely weird but somehow work, and she has accessories Lady Gaga only dreams of wearing. Plus, the photo manipulation isn't overdone.
Worst Editorial Concept - Vogue
Nothing says "Look at my fabulous purses and jewelry" like a phoropter and the administration of eyedrops.
Best Celebrity Portrait - Cameron Diaz in V
Cameron Diaz is almost unrecognizable with the wet hair, dark lipstick, and cone bra. It's so refreshing to see a Hollywood actress take a risk. Cameron has never looked better.
Worst Celebrity Portrait – Sandra Bullock in Glamour
A woman as fabulous as Sandra Bullock deserves clothes made for a person who doesn't walk around with a fake I.D.
Best Model - Anna Selezneva in Chinese Vogue
Anna Selezneva's face really emotes. Even if she's just thinking, "Wow, these white feathers are so soft," there's always something there.
Best Malebrity Model – Ed Westwick in GQ
Is it just us, or does Ed Westwick look great here? And he's even wearing an ugly sweater!
Best Couple - Dazed & Confused
On the left, doesn't it look like they're going off for a little, um, alone time? And on the right, doesn't it look like their parents, um, came home early? The headdresses really emphasize the angst.
Most in Need of Madonna’s Counsel – British Vogue
Amanda Harlech's 20-year-old daughter styled her for this spread. And she looks incredible for a 49-year-old. But anyone who's seen a Madonna concert knows a leather bodysuit should not be paired with a plain tee and khaki jacket. She needs sequins. And maybe a whip.
Best Reason to Give Bruce Willis a Job – W
Is this his version of housework? Awkward!
Best Sporting Attire – Flare
She is biking and playing basketball in heels and doesn't even set her handbags down. This girl's boyfriend will never try to make her do sports again.
Best Shoecase – Dazed & Confused
Rihanna wore a similar pair of thigh-high boots at the 2008 Video Music Awards. And it was unkind to rob the model on the right of a proper pair of manties, though he earns serious points for fashion resourcefulness.
Cruelest Shoe Situation - In Style
Marion Cotillard wears a very scary pair of shoes by John Galliano. In Style mercilessly posed her on a rocky precipice, which might explain the look of nausea on her face.
Best Styling – Japanese Vogue
Karl Lagerfeld shot his Chanel pieces in an unexpected yet not overly complicated way. The couture dress on the left works so well with combat boots.
Worst Styling – British Vogue
British Vogue tells readers to look for pieces that "stand out in a crowd" when concocting a party outfit. But this model looks like she wandered out of the house in pajama bottoms, took a Percocet, raided Katy Perry's sequins, had a glass of tequila, then hit the sale rack at Topshop.
Best Statement Poncho - Japanese Vogue
She looks like a denim bell. How can you argue?
Best Use of Beverage – Numero
Speedos are so spring '08.
Worst Use of Beverage – Dazed & Confused
This is a cruel, cruel choker. That Coke isn't even diet.
Most Impractical Beachwear - Japanese Vogue
Clockwise from top left, the model wears Versace, Gaultier, and Christian Lacroix couture. We feel for the poor assistant who picked the sand out of all those crevices after the shoot.
Best Case for Home Remodeling – Muse
That wall is her best accessory. If we weren't renting, we might throw acid on one of ours.
Best House Husband – Chris Noth in Harper’s Bazaar
Men are victims of over 80 percent of layoffs during this recession. This spread is a happy imagining of that statistic. Well, except for how Mr. Big looks like he hates his kids.
Most Awkward Frolic - Marie Claire
Someone needs attention.
Best Reality-Star Portrait – Paper
RuPaul's Drag Race winner Bebe Zahara Benet is perhaps the only reality-show star worthy of an entire magazine page.
Best New York Fantasy Shot - Vogue
Sure, those shoes are probably giving her corns, people have probably muttered nasty things to her about the fur, and her hair is beyond frizzed. But who cares? She's in New York!
Best Ad - Milk
Olympic swimmer Dara Torres's milk ad appeared in many of this month's magazines. Her body made us look twice every time.
Worst Hair – Dazed & Confused
Dazed & Confused heralds the "modern sophistication" of Miuccia Prada's fall 2009 Miu Miu collection. But focusing on that is hard when you're waiting for Tina Turner to call and ask for her hair back.
Best Sweatpants – Elle
They're cashmere and cost $650. What recession?
Worst Pants – British Vogue
In a world where pants are increasingly rare, fashion magazines should take extra effort only to showcase the most fabulous ones, to really make a case for this garment. Somehow these pants are even worse than those leggings with panther scratches on the sides.
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