In late 2006, shortly before Factory Girl came out, Sienna Miller lamented to Entertainment Weekly that people paid more mind to her clothes or her love life than her career. Crazy talk from someone whose wardrobe actively demanded our attention: Sienna went out in public wearing everything from a top hat paired with a dress made solely of fringe to giant granny panties to her bathing suit. How could she think we'd care about something like acting in the face of those distractions? It's like wearing pants made of raw meat and then claiming you didn't realize the neighborhood dogs would try to bite off your ankles. More recent interviews, including one in July’s Vogue, imply that even Sienna eventually realized the problem. With this weekend's G.I. Joe being her first major studio film since this alleged epiphany, will Sienna tackle the massive press junket with the same balls-out-crazy aesthetic of yore, or will she dial it down to keep the focus on her work rather than her wardrobe? Let’s find out.
Let's say you're Sienna Miller, and after a wickedly ugly public outcry over your affair with the married Balthazar Getty, you really want people to come see your movie and forget that you two frolicked topless on a boat while his bajillion kids were at home with his wife. This gently classy, fresh-from-church ensemble is the perfect choice: It's pretty, breezy, and one less thing she'll need to talk about when she goes to confession.
If we didn't recognize Sienna, we'd probably assume this photo was of an anonymous Disney Channel starlet trying to look youthful yet comfortingly trustworthy. Where the previous outfit screamed Upstanding Churchgoing Lady, this casual, lazily fitted frock seems to murmur something about not being able to hit the clubs on Friday night because she's knackered from spending all day serving soup to the homeless. Who knew a pattern could still be so plain?
Sienna's MO of late has been to wear a very simple dress and let her footwear do the talking. In this case, it's talking nonsense — they're a cross between "fabulous" and "high-fashion ankle monitor" — but the overall effect is fetching, and we wouldn't mind a crack at the dress to see if that draping is as flattering on everyone else as it is on Sienna's tiny frame. However, the crabby grandmother who lives in our psyche wants Sienna to flick that hair out of her face.
We’ll be honest: This DVF frock has real zingy charm. Do we pretend to understand why, in August, Sienna felt the need to pair it with heavy black tights? No. Can we overlook that in light of the dress itself being awfully cute? We will try.
Va-va-voom! This, we covet. Sure, Sienna’s dress is arguably displaying too much sternum. But slightly questionable fit aside, this flirty red number is attention-grabbing without being obnoxious — presumably what Sienna herself is trying to be.
Here, Sienna departed from brighter stuff in favor of a black-on-black look. It's very genteel, but frankly, for a girl ringing the opening bell at the New York Stock Exchange, wearing black as if you are attending the funeral of your bank account is a tad on-the-nose these days.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. What? Sorry, we must have dozed off. There is, of course, nothing wrong with this outfit — other than the aggressively pleated trousers, perhaps, which do no one’s figure any favors. It would be more than acceptable if Sienna were out running errands or having lunch with friends, but as it is: Honey, look alive! You’re still trying to sell something.
The vaguely nautical bent of Sienna’s London photo-call attire is appropriate considering that she got drenched during the ride across the Thames to the location. And we have to give the girl props for being a good sport and gamely posing with a wet bum. But the outfit, though not exactly wacky, feels like she missed her mark: aiming at a calm, tailored aura and instead hitting "insurance adjuster with a sailor fetish and a penchant for expensive shoes."
We know Sienna helps her sister with an upscale clothing line, but this outfit hews closer to the wares of another infamous blonde: Heidi Montag. Okay, it's not tight, and it's blessedly full-coverage, but the confluence of loud animal prints and tacky lace brings up both acid flashbacks of that atrocious "Heidiwood" collection and our lunches. Clearly the loopy Sienna of yore is still in there somewhere, clawing her way out …
… and indeed, here she is, back on Planet Wackjob. This ensemble is probably the most old-school-Sienna of the bunch: There is nothing remotely subtle or understated about dressing like a general in David Bowie's private army. However, by keeping the rest of her wardrobe comparatively streamlined, this suit stands out instead of being just one more loony piece in her suitcase of insanity — and thus makes her lunacy feel less forced. Is this progress we see before us? Time will tell.
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