‘The Zoe Report’ Launches With Catchphrases, Very Few Bananas

Rachel Zoe: "You've got mail."

Clicking on our in-boxes today, we had a taste of the manic glee a small child feels bounding out of her bed early Christmas morning. "The Zoe Report," the GOOP/Daily Candy–like newsletter published by beloved stylist and reality-television star Rachel Zoe, was waiting, like a small gift wrapped just for us. Well, whatever you were expecting, "The Zoe Report"'s first post is a fairly simple, by-the-numbers product piece featuring the exquisitely designed, questionably patterned Lola Platform Pumps by Brian Atwood. "A striking leopard print, sexy elastic detailing and high platform — I DIE," says Zoe, making sure to employ her trademarked line. To Zoe's credit, she offers up an affordable alternative to her $680 pick and offers up a quick tutorial on fashion neologisms ("shootie = shoe + booty"). Is it wrong to hope that future posts will match or exceed Gwyneth Paltrow's GOOP in terms of unintended hilarity? That is, after all, one of the many reasons our TiVo can't wait until the new season of The Rachel Zoe Project.

Light of My Life [Zoe Report]