Project Runway Designers Will Not Design the Ticket to Your Future

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Photo: Courtesy of Lifetime

This week on Project Runway, we learned a few very important fashion lessons. Number one: Don't listen to your client. Number two: Even though clothes have to function in the real world, they can't be too wearable. Got that? You should be able to wear them, but not really. And number three: Everything looks better with a big, garish fabric flower. The designers' challenge is to make an outfit for their models — it "will be the ticket to their futures at a special industry event," says Tim. That's a lot of pressure to put on one measly dress. Everyone tries their best to ignore their models' wishes. "It's like designing something for myself if I was a black girl," says Johnny about his purple bridesmaid dress. Althea is having "positive thoughts" about her model, so that's always good news. And Irina's model declares, "Yes, I love my back!" Moving along to the runway show: Heidi is in thigh-high boots and looks awesome. We once tried on a pair of thigh-high boots and ended up looking like a short, out-of-work hooker. Plus, we couldn't sit down. (We did not buy the boots.) And, oh, guest judge Marc Bouwer! On his website, Bouwer describes himself as man "with a rebel spirit and a charismatic presence." We'd edit that sentence to read: "a bizarre gay alien with a bad face-lift." Apparently, Nina was busy, so she sent Zoe Glassner in her place. Boooring. And we also have Jennifer Rade, a stylist who looks very, very scared. Who are these people?