Madonna Is Tired of Tracy Anderson’s Awkward Aerobics

Tracy Anderson (left) with Shakira's trainer on Fashion's Night Out.

Madonna recently revealed that she dropped Tracy Anderson as her trainer. But she did not "ditch or fire her," she explains to "Page Six." She just got sick of her magical dance aerobics. "I simply wanted to try a new method of working out when my tour ended," she says. This can't be good for the Tracy Anderson Method, a weird mix of gyrating and Shakira moves we sampled at Diane Von Furstenberg on Fashion's Night Out. If the Method was elusive before those few minutes of Chardonnay-drenched awkwardness, it was only more confusing afterward. Tracy convinced us if we really wanted to know her secrets to being "teeny tiny" we'd have to buy the DVDs, because it's simply too complicated to describe in words or precariously demonstrate in a matter of minutes on a staircase. But Madonna is sure to captivate the world with an even more elusive and complicated workout program, and then no one will want to bother with figuring out Tracy Anderson's secrets anymore. It's like Jesus Luz: If she didn't attach her biceps to him, we'd check him out, but we wouldn't make a Google Alert for him. We might downgrade Tracy from "as it happens" to "once a day."

Madonna ex: I'm no suck-up [Page Six/NYP]