Purple's fall fashion issue was our favorite this month. It included a 36-page supermodel orgy that somehow topped all nude spreads the magazine has published as of late. A few pages later came a stunning spread of Baptiste Giabiconi shot by Karl Lagerfeld, in which Baptiste showcases his magnificent figure and Segway skills. Meanwhile, Dazed & Confused asked designers to create "Franken-fashion" masks in a nod to Halloween. Victoria Beckham straps on Nina Ricci's famous fall 2009 shoes for Elle. Uma Thurman ditches her pants for W. And Vogue cast a horse model. See those images and more (some NSFW) in the slideshow.
Most Graphic Girl-on-Girl — Purple (Part One)
Purple is full of sex-charged imagery every month, and the magazine somehow managed to top itself this month with a "classic fashion shoot" lensed by Terry Richardson. The magazine boasts a cast of supermodels — Abbey Lee Kershaw, Eniko Mihalik, Freja Beha, and Magdalena Frackowiak — instead of the actors or musicians they usually shoot. Also, they didn't ask the models' agents for approval to shoot the girls nude, which most agents don't like. But the nudity "happened organically" on the set, according to the magazine. As did a lesbian fashion orgy that left us increasingly slack-jawed with every page turn. Just so you can experience that special feeling, too ...
Most Graphic Girl-on-Girl — Purple (Part Two)
Here's another slide of the action! The editorial is 36 pages long (with more than a few inclusions of Terry) and more than justifies the magazine's plastic wrapping.
Best Recession Styling — Dazed & Confused
No need to splurge on accessories when you can use newspapers, garbage bags, motorcycle helmets, and safety pins to make yourself look absolutely terrifying.
Best Editorial — Purple
This is Karl Lagerfeld's drag tribute to Helmut Newton, starring Baptiste Giabiconi in "prostitute" shoes. Baptiste is raw yet stunning in every shot. The lines he creates on that Segway give us chills.
Best Alternative to the Segway — British Vogue
She flew in from outer space! Where most of the fashion industry resides.
Most Bizarre (Yet Oddly Fitting) Designer Portrait — Christian Audigier in GQ
He is speeding out of a pool on a motorcycle and onto a red carpet flanked by sexy pirate fighters waving flags, yelling, and exposing breasts in his honor and defense. There's not a tattoo print in sight, but this says "I make a fortune off of tacky T-shirts" better than anything.
Most Endearing Designer Portrait — Christopher Bailey in British Vogue
This is so cute. Can we put a handle on him and tote him home?
Most in Need of a Chaperone — Diana Farkhullina in 10
On the left, she's about to trip on her ballgown in her eight-inch heels and fall on the pavement. And on the right, she risks serious injury while flashing everyone around. Kids these days.
Most Dangerous Clothes — British Vogue
Depending on how heavy that Vogue top is, Naomi could really hurt someone with a good whack. But her spikes on the right could do more damage.
Best Pinup Girl — Victoria Beckham in Elle
Posh looks absolutely charming here, somehow thanks to, rather than in spite of, the giant coral leopard bow on her head on the left, and the giant Snackwell's Devil's Food cookie on her head on the right.
Worst Celebrity Portrait — Gwen Stefani in Glamour
Remember when Gwen Stefani was just a girl in No Doubt's Tragic Kingdom? Now she's in 7-11 with a Big Gulp and a shopping cart she probably stole from those creatures in Where the Wild Things Are — a whole new kind of tragic.
Best Poses — Anja de Rijk in 10
She's crawling on the floor with a balloon in her mouth and taking it more seriously than we take pretty much anything.
Most Random Tennis Player — Gael Monfils in Vogue
Karlie Kloss models couture in Paris. Gael Monfils models no couture, but is in the spread for no apparent reason and is throwing imaginary balls at her.
Most Overdone Editorial Concept — 10
British magazines love to steal a model's shoes, abandon her by a dilapidated, fenced-in concrete area, and make her cling to frayed wires or barbed wire or an uncomfortable-looking ladder. It always makes us feel sad for the girls. Can we give them a soft couch and socks, for once?
Best Styling — W
When we're old and batty, we want to dress like this and lounge by metal sculptures.
Best Headgear — Dazed & Confused
Dazed & Confused asked designers to create masks from scraps lying around their studios, inspired by the idea of "Franken-fashion." Peter Pilotto did a "fossilized creature" (left). And Gareth Pugh did a cross between a seamstress, a fit model, and a cook (not Beyoncé?!).
Worst Angle — Uma Thurman in W
Celebrity crotch-flashing is so 2006.
Best Horse — Vogue
There were people in this spread — really pretty, well-dressed people — but they don't matter when there's also a horse wearing a hat.
Best Closet — Christina Aguilera in In Style
She's got everything a girl wants in a home in this one room: over 300 pairs of shoes, dramatic drapery, a chandelier, a creepy statue wearing an eye patch, leopard accents, and a sleeping puppy.
Worst Use of Andrés Velencoso — Gap
Andrés Velencoso possesses one of the best bodies in the modeling industry today. This would be one of those extremely rare instances where a man unbuttoning his shirt to the navel would be a welcome styling choice.
Most Vulgar Outfits — Dazed & Confused
She's not naked, but she may as well be!
Most Precarious Jewelry Situation — Purple
One false move and this poor girl could have a bloody nipple.
Worst Hair — Nylon
This style was inspired by My Little Pony. Nylon thinks women want to look like My Little Pony. Alas, they are mistaken!
Worst Chemistry — Chanel Iman and Sessilee Lopez in Allure
"Lord, Chanel needs to stop wiping her filthy kitchen gloves on me."
Best Gareth Pugh — Purple
The models are wearing head-to-toe Pugh. And behaving appropriately scary.
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